Motivation, or lack thereof.

How do you get motivation to do things? I really seem to have a hell of a time with it. For instance today is really sunny and I just felt like being outside so I went for a bit of a walk. That walk turned into a 12km, 3 hour walk. It felt so good. My motivation. I just wanted to be outside. However I don’t always feel that way.

I am not sure how to motivate myself to do that every day. Maybe not a 3 hour walk everyday but a 1 hour walk everyday and maybe a 3 hour walk once a week. Even though I feel really motivated today to do it everyday. Tomorrow might be different. I have such a hard time with motivation and consistency sometimes.

I am proud of myself today though. I really wanted to be out enjoying the fresh air, slight breeze and sunshine so I just kept walking till I couldn’t walk anymore. I then had another 30 min or so before I got home. I should sleep well tonight.

We also got a wii and a wii fit. I know that it won’t really make me loose weight but I am hoping it will help me a bit with my motivation to exercise and loose some weight. I’ve never really been one to like to exercise but i do like games and I do like to walk and listen to music.

Spring Has Sprung

Spring is finally here after a long hard winter. Since I am going to be off for the rest if April and all of May (and June and July should be slow at work) I decided to make the best of them.

Cory and I bought fishing licences and since he had two rods already we went and bought some additional tackle and bait since most of his is gone and went fishing. I have not fished since I was like 12! We headed out and called his buddy Rodney who met us there with his step-daughter who’s about 5 or 6.

I did pretty good considering. I caught on to cadging pretty well and only got caught up in rocks or brush on the side of the lake a few times. None of us caught anything but they apparently haven’t stocked the lake yet there just a few winter trout here or there. So we’ll go back soon and try again think they stick it in early May.

We also tackled a bit more spring cleaning and re-arranging. We opened up the living room/dining room a bit more by moving the couches against the walls. Previously we had one against the wall and the other as a divider between the living room and dining room.

I guess I can no longer blame the dizziness on being a blond…

I decided to edit and add to this a bit, not all of it was in the original post.

I finally have a diagnosis and mixed emotions about it all…

I have irreversible damage to my vestibular system which is the parts of the inner ear and brain that process sensory information involved with controlling balance and eye movements. This is what is causing my vertigo, nausea and problems with walking and balance. In my case the cause is unknown though he said there is a few things that could cause it, one being vestibular neuritis which is caused by an infection in the ear. This causes swelling which leads to the damage.

The second possible cause in my case is trauma to my head. Based on my past history it could be either or both. Since I have a history of ear infections and other infections and since I also have a history of multiple head injuries over the last 4 years (5 in 4 years). Personally I am leaning towards the injury. Not dwelling on that too much though.

Basically the part of the brain that controls balance re-calibrates itself to compensate for the damage from an injury or vestibular issue and in my case it is either failing to do so or it is over-calibrating even when it does not need to. It could be one or both of these. I found a good explanation of it here.

Updates & Hosting!

I have moved the contact section under “About” so if you are looking to email me please go there.

I am now offering both free (512mb) and paid hosting on my reseller account. Paid hosting starts from $5 (1GB) a year to $20 (10GB) a year. I can also personalize that a bit more if more space is needed. Secure payment through PayPal. I will be moving this to my domain at some point when I have the time to create a theme for it or customize one.

If you know of anyone in need of free or cheap hosting send them my way if you’d like. I’d be greatful! I may look into setting up a referral system as well later on giving you something like 15% or 20% off of your own hosting if you refer someone.

The story of how it all began

I’ve always been a very independent person. One of the things I have loved the most since I got my licence was driving. The idea of just being able to get in a car, throw in some gas and just go wherever you feel like going. I love the power of the road under me. I love the the scenery speeding by. Being able to blast my music and just drift wherever the road may take me. Then stopping and getting out and enjoying the view.

There was always something about having the freedom of a car. I always felt lucky that I have had a car since I was like 20. My own car, 100% owned by me (and the bank of course). Driven only by me. Something that could just give me the freedom to go wherever I felt like it whenever the mood struck me. Good or bad.

Somewhere along the way that changed. I have been nervous for a while now driving. It’s been happening for years. Part of me wishes I could pinpoint a specific thing that caused this anxiety. I can’t. I can pinpoint a number of things that have contributed to it. Inducing a couple of accidents. All of which have had lasting effects both mental and physical.