I think it’s about time to move…

Cory and I have kinda been going back and forth over the last year or so on moving to a different place. We’ve talked it over and can not really seem to come to the same conclusion with one another on the issue. I wouldn’t really say that we argued over it, however we have had some heated discussions on the topic and have not really came up with any solution.

For me there are numerous reasons as to why I think we should more. The most important one to me is we have mold, and lots of it. The bathroom is really bad. Its behind the toilet were we both have an extremely hard time getting at. Its all around the tub and in the grout between the tiles. Its also under the bathroom sink. There is also mold in the kitchen around and under the sink and behind the fridge and every window in the apartment. We’ve tried mold & mildew removers, tons of household cleaners, bleach, vinegar & water and even pure vinegar and nothing will ever get rid of it never mind prevent it.

Our stove and fridge are ancient. The fridge constantly makes a loud squealing our landlord can not seem to fix. Recently the big burner (we have 1 large & 3 small) stopped working on the stove. We haven’t even gone to the landlord about that one yet… Our light in the washroom flickers on and of when you turn it on and has a habit of going off completely right after you get shampoo in your hair when your in the shower and there is no window and not much hall light so it typically means taking your shower in the pitch dark. Lastly the deck door refuses to close all the way and lock and randomly pops open. . . .

A little update

I am so glad that blogging daily was not on my list of new years resolutions. That would have been a fail right off the bat! No posts in 15 days. I did not even reply to any comments. It’s not like I was too busy. I just sometimes can not get up the energy to turn on the computer after spending 8-10 hours a day on it at work. I know in this day in age most of us work daily on computers. But sometimes I just want a break. So I took one, without even really thinking about it.

Not much has gone on in the last 2 weeks anyways. We now have snow on the ground that does not seem to be going anywhere anytime soon. I have now realized how incredibly stupid it is not to have snow tires on my car. No I did not have an accident. But I feel like I might as well be in a tobaggan (like those olympic style ones) rather then a car. I am getting used to it and don’t mind driving on ice or hard packed snow but slushy snow scares the crap out of me and I hold my breath whenever Cory has the car. He is a good driver, so I really don’t need to be, he has only ever had one accident but he also is inexperienced compared to me.

Works going okay. I am working overtime this week. Just an extra hour a day but it is an odd shift, it was 11:15 am to 7:15 pm. I took an extra hour before so 10:15 am to 7:15 pm. I even went to the gym yesterday with Kristy (sister-in-law). Tomorrow is Friday and I am happy I have made it to the end of the week with some energy to spare. I plan on going skating at the Oval downtown which is an outdoor oval rink that was made for winter games a few years ago. I went last weekend and Erin and I went around twice. Doesn’t seem like much but it was 1 more time then the week before which was our first time going. My skates are old (15 years or so) but since they were hardly warn they are not that bad. Only problem with them is I (or someone else maybe…) put them away wet and the blade has some rust. I am going to look into a new pair next year or new blades. This year I just had them sharpened and hoped for the best. I made it around without falling. Then again I used to figure skate for over 12 years so it’s like getting back on a bike…right? . . .

Winter blues

I am having such a shitty time right now. It doesn’t even feel like Christmas to me. I feel so overwhelmed. All these Christmas shows on TV and all the commercials are really the only thing that make me even realize it is Christmas time. All I really want to do is hide myself under the blankets and only come up for air once in a while.

It doesn’t help that neither of us are feeling well. I am so disappointed. Things were starting to go well. But now with my dentist appointments I am back in debt for almost $1000. I know it does not seem like much but it is when you can’t pay it and it is Christmas and it is waying on your mind. I feel like hell and things are just not going anywhere near what I had planned.

I’m so stressed out over work. I have not felt this kind of stress about work in a long time. However because I am sick I have missed a lot of time. However at the same time if I come to work sick they don’t like it. I worked a week with no voice taking emails and was told it was fine as there was plenty of email in the bin. Wednesday I ended up having to log into the phones even though I warned the coach that I doubted I would make it through a call. . . .

Why am I sick again?

I spent the first few days this week sick at home… again. It just feels never ending. We left Mom and Dad’s on Monday and I was supposed to work from 12-8 pm. However, I woke up that morning throwing up. Since I had a 2 1/2 hour drive ahead of us that I would have to do (Cory has never really driven that far and was not feeling well either). I called in to work to let them know I would not be there. It was not an easy decision to make. I only had about 2 hours of sleep because I was so unsettled, my stomach was upset but I was not getting sick.

I ended up moving from the bed to a very uncomfortable futon around 4 when I realized it was 4 and I had to get up and drive in 2 hours. I should have probably realized at that point that that was not going to happen but I was stubbornly trying to figure out how to manage it. In the end I gave up when I started throwing up. I decided to crawl back in bed and attempt the drive a little later on in the day.

And what a drive it was! I had to go the old route (more then 3 1/2 hours) because it was slower then the highway and the motion of the car was making me really sick and the last thing I wanted to do was get sick in my new car. I made it as far as Kentville before getting sick. After that I had to stop abut 4 times. When we got home I crawled into bed assuming I had what Cory was getting over and that I would be fine in the morning. I wasn’t though. . . .

Dropping the ball

Somehow I really dropped the ball yesterday. I am not sure why but I thought I had posted. However I didn’t. Who am I kidding anyways? I can’t blog everyday, I never have been able to for very long.

Yesterday I think it was because I went to the dentist and wasn’t feeling the greatest when I got home. Only one more appointment for all my dental work to be done. Yesterday he filled my tooth that I had the root canal on, the molar that broke. He sort of rebuilt it, it’s in the back and I don’t really care what it looks like as long as it functions.

I am a bit sore today. I also had 3 more fillings on that side done. Took a while for the freezing to wear off again. My appointment was at 1 pm I was out by 2:15-2:30 pm but my whole right side of my face was still frozen when I went to bed. . . .

Most controversial thing

What is the most controversial thing you’ve ever written on your blog? What compelled you to write it?

It’s hard to answer this as I don’t think I have really wrote anything controversial. The closest thing was this post about abuse that I had suffered in the past by an ex-boyfriend. I guess you could consider anything related to abuse controversial in the manner that sometimes people will not believe you, or say you deserved it for staying or what you consider abuse may not necessarily be what someone else considers abuse, etc. I could go on and on with this as over the years I have heard anything and everything you could ever imagine regarding it from “it’s too late to talk now” to “you stayed so therefor you deserved what you got”.

But I wrote it at the time that I did because in my mind I was still trying to make sense of it all. The truth is most women and men in situations like that do not reach out at the time it is happening for help. So many suffer in silence because either they do not know what to do, or they tried to say something to someone and did not get the reaction they expected so they were hesitant to say anything to anyone else or because they were just to scared to say anything. . . .