More then a month!

It’s been almost 40 days since our wedding and how does it feel? About the same lol  I’m not really sure if I expected it to feel different? I really don’t know. Eddie and I talked about it some over the last few days and have come to the conclusion that that’s a very good thing

If anything I love him more and more and more every day so I know it’s the right decision for us. We are settling down and enjoying the married life but honestly day to day life doesn’t feel so different and I love it. I know that if you don’t live together first it must really seem different but we already knew what we wanted and had already established a pattern before getting married.

I love being at home with him during the day and I love still having the weekends together. I wish I liked to clean more and was a better housekeeper lol but I can learn. Cooking too. I really need to concentrate on cooking and nutrition and getting my diabetes more under control. I need to take some cooking classes or something. . . .

Testing

We had a doctors appointment on Wednesday. Eddie doesn’t have a family doctor so I asked mine to take him on. Dr. H said yes. We discussed trying to conceive and he agreed that after 9 months we should be starting to do some testing on both Eddie and I to see if there is anything wrong, any reason we haven’t conceived yet since we are trying quite regularly, at least every second day.

He is starting with Edward as he said it is much easier testing him then it is me. So we are officially starting testing as well which I am happy but scared about. I am terrified it is going to come back that one of us is not fertile. I am more concerned about myself them him as I am really sure he is not the issue. A feeling or intuition I’m not sure. I just think I am the cause of the trouble.

I know in the scheme of things that 8 or 9 months is not very long but I am just scared. My mom had so many miscarriages before they adopted my brother and I remember how hard it was on her and them both and I just am so scared of going through that. . . .

Let the TTC begin!

Eddie and I have been trying a few months now to conceive and so far nothing much has happened. I am 35 going on 36 and with the medical issues I’ve had I am a little concerned about conceiving in general. About 2 months ago I came off of Lyrica, Naproxen and even Reactine. I have been taking a pre-natal multivitamin since then as well as a supplement called Vitex which is supposed to regulate everything and help with conceiving.

I am so happy that Eddie and I are on the same page with this and he is willing to do whatever it takes for us to have kids. We have decided we want to consider adoption as well. We have called the adoption hotline for Nova Scotia and have been invited to an orientation session. We can not make this one due to our schedules but we are hoping to make the next one in May in our area.

I am so excited and want to be a Mom so bad and Eddie loves the idea of being a Dad. I ordered and just received some ovulation tests strips from Ebay or Amazon, can’t remember which. I am hoping that it will help us better predict when to try. I have an appointment with my family doctor next week and am going to ask him again to refer me to someone. He wanted blood work last time but I lost the requisition and need to get one again. . . .

Endless frustration

So, It’s December! 2013 is almost over. Since I seem to be having a little trouble with inspiration (with the exception of the last 3 days) lately when it comes to posting, I have decided to join BlogHer‘s NaBloPoMo for December. My goal is to post every single day for the whole month of December. Since the weekends are for free-writing, I decided to tackle something that has been on my mind a lot lately. It took me 2 1/2 hours to write this out last night, by 2am I was not quite done so I decided to finish it this morning and proof read it and then wait till I got home before posting it. So here goes…

I’m going to be thirty-four in seven months. Up until recently age has never been something that has really bothered me much. I just skated by feeling like I have all the time in the world. I’ve known since I was about eight years old that I wanted to have kids someday. But it was the furthest thing on my mind. In my teens, I had a little brother who was really young. He was just barely four when I was fifteen. He had lots of little friends and my Mom babysat neighbourhood kids during the day when their parents were at work. I often babysat them after school and in the evening. I have always been around young children and always loved kids.

Let me explain a little bit about my brother. He’s currently a fourteen year old stuck in a twenty-two year old’s body. He was born twenty-two years ago, but mentally he is no where near that. What’s wrong with him? Well, there are many theories the doctors have come up with over the years, and many diagnosis’s some that stuck and make sense and some that just don’t fit. He has been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, and Fetal Alcohol Affects which causes learning and cognitive difficulties. His birth mother was seventeen when she got pregnant for him and eighteen when she had him. She drank during the first three months of pregnancy. She herself and her brothers all had issues that could be described as ADD or ADHD, among other things. . . .