I miss my boyfriend…

It seems a really odd thing to say when he is sitting here next to me on the dock fishing but it’s kinda true.

It’s a bit hard to explain but lately I feel like he is slowly slipping away from me. It’s hard sometimes to get him out of the house, with the exception of going fishing, which he usually readily agrees to.

I don’t know if it is depression, boredom, pain or something else but sometimes it just feels like he is here, but not here. It feels as if we are strangers living together. It’s so hard to get him to talk.

We talk about current affairs, things we’ve done, shows we’ve seen, etc. However the topic of the future always causes a topic change, or even downright avoidance. We can’t seem to get past the basics.

I know he’s concerned about his disease and the progress of it. I know the future is unknown. I know he is frustrated, confused, concerned and even depressed about it. I just wish he’d talk to me.

Intimacy seems to have dried up for the time being. We can’t seem to do much more then say good night and cling to our own side of the bed. It scares me.

I am hanging in and have no plans on giving up, however I really don’t know what to do. I really miss him. Simple as that.

4 Comment

  1. I’m so sorry to hear that. Can his doctor help in any way?
    Susanne recently posted…Music in the gardenMy Profile

    1. I am not sure, his doctor wont put him on any medications because he has had really high blood pressure the last few times he has been there. The doctor did some blood work which apparently did not come back with anything overly abnormal but he just doesn’t seem to be taking it seriously and we can not get him to refer him to a specialist about it.

      Overall Cory’s health is not that great and it’s depressing him. I have been really pushing him to push the doctor and not let things go but then it puts stress on our relationship. It’s a little annoying. I tried talking him into seeing my doctor and he agrees he will then when I am about to call my doctors office to get an appointment he backs out and says he will just stick with his doctor and see what he says.

      I’m kinda at a loss as to what to do. There is really only so much I can do myself I guess.
      Kirsten recently posted…I miss my boyfriend…My Profile

  2. Yikes, I am sorry to hear that you are feeling like this. It’s got to be tough on both of you. Just make sure he knows you are there and will be the support for him when he needs it. Hoping for an upturn for you.
    Carolynne recently posted…Annual camping tripMy Profile

    1. Thanks Carolynne! I have keep telling him I am here for him and that we can do this all together but it’s really hard, it’s just feeling like everything is stuck in a stand-still and nothing much is happening
      Kirsten recently posted…I miss my boyfriend…My Profile

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