Is it better to be second or not at all?

Sometimes it really sucks to always come in second or third. Yes, I came in second at work again. It’s so frustrating. Sometimes I think it is best to just not know how you made out compared to others. I would not say that I am an overly competitive person. I would much rather best my own record then someone else’s record. But maybe I really need to become more outwardly competitive?

I guess in a way I did beat my record, so-to-speak, last time I came in third, this time I apparently came in second. Which is a step up. I guess I am just getting bored. I love my job but I find it is not challenging me enough. I just feel bored and tired when a call comes in, it just feels like the same old stuff.

I don’t really know how to challenge myself. Other then my attendance which is a work in progress the only other thing I got a standard rather then an exceeds standard in for my yearly review was my “computer skills”. Which was very loosely defined. Basically I really have no idea how or what they are looking for to get to “exceeds standards” for that. I guess I am going to have to get someone to really explain what they are looking for so I have a better idea.

I hate saying I am bored with my job. It’s the first job in a long time that I enjoy and that I feel confident enough in myself to try and move up in position. Normally I just don’t care. It’s just money at the end of the day. I hate feeling so lost. I am scared that I will loose interest and start going downhill. Should I admit that to my coach? I have no idea. All I know is I really really do not want to get frustrated and loose interest this time.

Totally unrelated we have a rather nasty Nor’easter heading our way… 40-50 cm of snow, 100km/hour winds and a rather messy Wednesday. If you wanna follow for yourself click here. I guess I have to drag my boots out one more time, should be interesting with the crutches.

2 Comment

  1. Kya says: Reply

    Even though you did come in second, that is great that you were able to beat your own personal record.

    I can understand how it full start to feel a bit dull. I guess that is a problem, because you care about your work in some way, or about what you want to do? It would be hard to find a job that made you happy and content with what you wanted to do, and also supplied you with sufficient income. I hope that things will work out.
    Kya recently posted…A Smiggle AccidentMy Profile

    1. It really did feel great to beat my own record, it still sucked though.

      Its so hard to do something that you love and get paid sufficient income. I find I am really struggling with that. On one hand I am getting a bit bored and frustrated and need a slight change in pace. One the other hand if my pay was a bit better I think I eould be more content to stay where I am.

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