Mental Illness & Me

This is always a tough topic for most people to talk about and I am no exception. I really wish I had some of my posts from my blogs from the worst phase, depression wise in my life. They would really provide me with some insight I think into the way my mind works sometimes and maybe some insight for other people in my life to see where I was then and where I am now. I don’t want to say that it is all a thing of the past for me, because it is not. I still and always will suffer from depression, anxiety and panic disorder. It’s not something I think that will ever 100% fully will go away for me.

However, that being said I think I am at one of the best points I have ever been in my life in regards to mental illness and me. That doesn’t mean I don’t still get depressed and have bad thoughts. Not talking suicidal, I have not had those in many many years. I do still sometimes think very negatively about some things that have happened to me past or present. Much like anyone would I guess. I don’t want to say I suffer from PSD because I don’t but sometimes I do have a little bit of stress from past traumas or past life experiences that have affected me. I’m not really going to get into detail about them right now. I’m not sure if there is posts about them on this blog or not but feel free to dig if you want to know. I can’t honestly remember what’s there. READ MORE

April Recap

I want to start posting doing a post each month about my goals for the following month and pick 3 goals that I would like to achieve for the coming month. I would also like to do a post as well at the end of the month of a monthly recap of 3 things that have happened in my life over the last month. I have created a category for each.

Here is a recap of what happened in April. READ MORE

Trapped under ice

Ever wonder what you are doing on the earth? Like, what your purpose in life is? I have been thinking about that a lot lately. I feel so much like something is missing. Like I am not living up to my full potential and that there is something more that I need to do.

I can’t help but wonder what it is. Does everyone think like this? Am I the only one? Sometimes I feel like I just have so many questions. I have been thinking a lot about people in my life that are no longer in my life. I don’t mean ex-boyfriends, ex-friends, or people I have known briefly. I mean my friends and family who have lived and died. READ MORE

Most controversial thing

What is the most controversial thing you’ve ever written on your blog? What compelled you to write it?

It’s hard to answer this as I don’t think I have really wrote anything controversial. The closest thing was this post about abuse that I had suffered in the past by an ex-boyfriend. I guess you could consider anything related to abuse controversial in the manner that sometimes people will not believe you, or say you deserved it for staying or what you consider abuse may not necessarily be what someone else considers abuse, etc. I could go on and on with this as over the years I have heard anything and everything you could ever imagine regarding it from “it’s too late to talk now” to “you stayed so therefor you deserved what you got”. READ MORE

I miss my boyfriend…

It seems a really odd thing to say when he is sitting here next to me on the dock fishing but it’s kinda true.

It’s a bit hard to explain but lately I feel like he is slowly slipping away from me. It’s hard sometimes to get him out of the house, with the exception of going fishing, which he usually readily agrees to. READ MORE