The last 48 hours

Ok so a lot has happened in the last 48 hours. Some good some not so good. In the end it all worked out just fine! So much has happened but the gist of it is

1) I found out I got into NSCC!!!
2) Thought I messed up big time with someone I like
3) Woke up really sick for the 3rd time in 2 months
4) Found out it was no big deal at all… and that I hadn’t messed up and he though nothing of it.
5) I got a call from the doctors office saying my test results are back and she wants me to come in to discus them… (could go either way…?!)
6) My Mom bought me 2 tickets to see Our Lady Peace on May 12th for Easter!!!
7) Dan’s going with me!! So I guess he still plans to be around in a month… which is good!

So all in all. I can’t complain. And now it’s been twice in a row I’ve freaked over nothing. Maybe I should just calm down and think things through first :p Might be a good idea!

then you go and do something and ruin it all…

Ever wish you could go back and do something over? Like you screwed up so bad that nothing else matters. Not matter how good it is. A million good things can happen and you go and do one stupid thing and ruin it all. I know that sounds overly dramatic and more then likely it’ll look different at some point in time tomorrow or whenever. But I don’t really know at this point… All I know is I’m seriously crying and I feel like a fool. I should have realized what kinda of mood I was in and ended the conversation with him then and there. I could have said something like I was tired and was going to bed. Instead I probably look like a crazy ass person who no one in their right mind would want anything to do with. Why do I just have to sabotage anything that seems good. I’m scared I ruined any chance I’d ever have if there ever was one. I hope like hell I’m wrong. I really like this guy. I should be really really happy right now. Instead I’m going to bed with tears running down my face. Why the hell do I always do this to myself?

Small steps :) are very good!

Alrighty, so things are going pretty good. Last week was a fairly good week all in all even if some of it was somewhat confusing. But at least it was fun mostly. Some tears and anger’s not bad as long as the end results worked out ok. And seems to be doing just that! It’s Wednesday already!!!! It’s hard to believe. I’ve been waiting for some much to happen. School, work, other things. And I have to say things are coming along rather nicely. A few bumps in the road here and there. But that’s to be expected I suppose right?

As the last post obviously states I got into NSCC. I pretty much expected it after people were telling me they were practically begging people to take the General Arts & Sciences Program. So though getting in was not really a surprise so much as just a wait and see thing it was really cool this morning when Mom came in and threw the envelope down on my bed and said “Open!”. So of course being a dutiful daughter I did just that :p And started jumping up and down. I know it’s silly but I was happy. Finally I did something I’m extremely proud of! It’s a small step but a step none the less.

Actually this last week or so has been filled with small steps. And believe me, many small steps add up and even though they don’t really become a big one they get you ready to take a big one. And it feels damn good! I feel like I’m ready to take that next big step whatever it may be. When it comes along I’ll be ready. Actually I suppose going back to school even if it’s a community collage and not a university would be considered a big step wouldn’t it? I’m proud of myself! I really really am. I think I’m headed in the right direction.

I’d love to take all the credit for it but I had a hell of a lot of help and support from some friends and family. I hope you all know that I’m so damn grateful to you all. So thank you so damn much! I love you all. If your reading this then your included in there somewhere no matter how insignificant you may think you were, you helped in one way or another! And yes, I know do know that in the end no matter how much help and support you guys gave me it was up to me in the end to take the chance and do it. But you gave me a shove in the right direction and gave me the courage to do it. And helped a hell of a lot all along the way. And I appreciate it more then anyone could ever know!

I’m kinda stuck today as far as going and paying the $100 confirmation at Akerley. I’d have liked to do it today and speak to someone but I can’t. Mom had to take Jasper to Dianne’s to be clipped and then is going to Jackie’s for 2 to get Michael off of the bus. So I have to drop her off then. Maybe I might be able to do it after that since Denton was sick today and didn’t go to school (supposedly). If not then I have a doctors appointment Monday so I’ll just do it after that.

Now I have to start saving up money. I’m not really sure what to do about the apartment situation. It would be really nice to move out and gain a little privacy (then again if I take that sublet just how much privacy would I really have?). I’m still waiting to hear back anyway. After I agreed she then told me there would be a credit check and a security deposit. All of which I was not told. Is that normal with a sublet? Or am I just being naive? Should I not have been told that long before I agreed… either way. We’ll just see. There is other places… And maybe I’m best of not to go anywhere. I just don’t know but I’m not overly worried about it. It’s a hassle but it’s a minor detail that can be worked around. So no point in stressing over it. So I simply am not going to.

That said I got to run!
*Hugs*