A bit mad…

I’m bored. I don’t know how I feel. Kristina stayed the night last night. Her Mom and my Mom work together and are friends and I consider Kristina a friend. She works very close by to were we moved and she lives a little ways away so on the nights she works late sometimes it’s easier for her to come here for the night. I have to beds in my room for that reason right now. Anyways she’s a few years younger. She 19 and I’ll be 25 but she’s pretty mature and we get along great. She’s like a sister. Anyways we had a long talk last night before bed. I was kinda upset and she made me realize that I really am not the only one to blame here. Yes I did some stupid things. But Tara, and Percey and even Art are just as much to blame. Percey could have told me his nefew was there. He put the child through it not me. I did not know the kid was there. Percey should have came out much earlier. No matter what he should know that I’d never harm a child delibratly. And if I didn’t leave when he texted me than maybe I never got it. So he should have come right out and said something not let it go on as long as it did (might had to add me to friends and read back a while to know the whole story). Also, if Tara is upset at that then if she really was my friend she’d have at least heard my side of the story. And she really wasn’t much of a friend to him either. If she knew he was having problems then she should have said to me to back off. I was going into totally blind territory. I’m not a mind reader. And if she really was my friend then she would have stuck up for me or at least told him that he wasn’t being fair. And Art could have done the same thing. He could have told me to back off if Percey was having problems. I’m not a monster. I would have. In fact Tara even said to me to block my number and call him! So if she’s mad I did it why the fuck say it? What the hell kind of friend does that. I need to be more careful who I consider a friend I think. I need friends but I need friends that actualyly care about me. Not ones that are either there cause they feel sorry for me or they want something from me (not saying that that’s what she was doing… I have no idea why she wanted to be friends). Why did she go out of her way to be friends when I gave off the idea I didn’t want to be a friend (she as much as admitted that that was the vibe she sometimes got from me). It wasn’t her personaly that I didn’t want to be a friend with. I just didn’t want nothing to do outside of work with anyone that I worked with. I don’t want to be friends with most of the people I work with. I learnt that lesson with Matt. It’s too hard and I can’t do that. It hurts to much. And makes it awkward. We don’t talk at all anymore and he was the one friend I never thought I would ever loose.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *