analyzing things

i always seem to say and do the stupidest things. when will i ever learn to just take what’s there and don’t question it. don’t analyze it… don’t worry myself to death over it. just go with the flow and not think too much about it. don’t ask questions i don’t want to hear the answers for. especially when i know the answer and i’m just torturing myself. why do i dwell on things that just don’t matter or will not change so why worry. why make a big deal out of nothing. i know i need to just sit back, relax and take things at face value. but saying that and doing that are two different things. how the hell do you get from one to the other? how do you just take things as they come and not analyze the hell out of them?

work’s getting to me. you can only take so much before you break. listening to these peoples heartaches. they’ve lost everything. their homes. their businesses. their whole livelihoods. they’ve lost friends, and family members and pets. some barely escaped with their own lives. and what’s the insurance companies doing? what’s the us government doing? they’re sitting on their fucking fat asses and they’re enjoying their long labor day weekend while we deal with the heart aches, the crying, the bitching (fuck i’d be bitching too!) and the outright anger. if it was me i’d be pissed. i’d want answers. i’d want to know why a country that can invade iraq in a day can’t get food and medical supplies to their own people. more then anything i want to help. people tell me i’m helping the best way i can right now by just doing my job. maybe they are right? i don’t feel like it though…

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