the oddest thing happened to both mom and i last night/today. last night i had the fan turned on full and on me cause it was so hot. sometime in the night i got cold and reached for the blanket but it wasn’t there (i’m assuming it fell between the wall and bed or on the floor…) anyways i just went back to sleep with nothing but the sheet. a little later (a min? a few min? i don’t know…) i felt someone on the bed. thought it was the dog who was in the room with me. and i just went back to sleep. i woke up a little while after and the blanket was wrapped around me. i figured mom got up for some reason and did it. i thought nothing about it and went back to sleep. never thought about it again. anyways i’m sitting here writing in one of the lj groups i belong too and i start to cry. mom calls me out in the living room at about the same time. i say “just give me a sec”. i try and wipe my tears away cause i don’t want her seeing them and asking questions. so i go out and she says “did you pull the blanket up over me last night”… odd eh? so i say “no why?” she says… “i was chilly and shivering last night, and at one point i felt something on the bed near my back and i said ‘get off jasper'(the dog) and then a little later i wake again to find the blankets around me and tucked behind my back. i thought maybe you did it?” i started crying again and she says “what’s wrong” i was smiling. so i told her what happened to me… it’s so weird! there was no one else home last night. just mom, me and the dog. i didn’t pull the blankets over her… she didn’t pull them over me… if you ask me… i think i know who did. anyways, back to what i originally was writing.. i fell so over whelmed sometimes. but the last few days on top of the over whelming feelings which are still there i feel a peace too. like things are going to be ok. like things will get better. like things are getting better. i know there is still a ways to go. i know i’ll have more ups and downs. i know i have a long road ahead of me. but i know it will be ok. i feel like it’s so worth it. like i have been given a gift. i’m not a very religious person. i don’t really now what i believe in. but i believe in this…

this was originaly posted in and i was writing that post when mom called me out so when i came back i wrote it into that… and copied it here and edited one part “anyways i’m sitting here writing in one of the lj groups i belong too and i start to cry..” which was originally “anyways i’m sitting here writing this and i start to cry…”

do i believe in an after life? definetly. do i believe in angels? i think so. things like this happen to my mom and i all the time. is it just because we’re more open to it? because we believe in ghosts, and angels, and stuff like that? is it our imagination? maybe… a coincidence? maybe… but how likely is that?! all i know is it makes you think!

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