A Story About A Girl

Counselling & Other Things

Image Credit: Mohamed Hassan from Pixabay

I finally got a call today from Mental Health Services and the Digby Hospital today. It seems that there is a free wellness clinic on Thursdays at the hospital from 9 – 3. She said all I have to do is show up and register at the registration desk and then I can see a counselor who will do an intake and determine where to go from there. I am unsure how it works but I am glad that at least there is somewhere to start. She said they can determine if some counselling sessions are needed and how often or if I need to be referred to someone else from there. It’s a bit of a relief. I was getting really frustrated and upset about it and feeling like I really needed to talk to someone.

With that and going to physiotherapy tomorrow to be assessed and get some help for the pain that is still there after the accident at least I am now starting to feel like I am getting somewhere. I was told by her today that to see a psychiatrist through mental health is a 3-5 month or longer wait. I go back to work after Christmas and still have not driven at all. I don’t even miss it. Usually, after a day or two of not driving, I am itching to get behind the wheel and go somewhere. At this point, I wouldn’t even get in a car if I didn’t have to and if I even think about driving I start to shake.

I made a bit of a mistake earlier though, my Libre sensor finished yesterday while Eddie was at work and he brought me home two sensors and I should have put one on last night but I didn’t feel like it. This morning I wanted to get a shower and had to wait a bit to ensure my skin was not wet before putting it on or it will just start peeling off. He had left for work already and before leaving we were talking a bit about everything and I still had not got the call I just mentioned yet from mental health and after he left I started feeling shaky and felt like a panic attack was coming on. By this time it was about 3 PM and I had not eaten since breakfast but I failed to notice that at first. [...]  READ MORE

Who really likes giving injections?

I know I certainly don’t. I don’t think any diabetic does, do they? Whether you have Type 1, Type 2 or Gestational Diabetes, if you need to take insulin you just do… don’t you?? You don’t act like a two-year-old, well unless you really are a two year old and scream and cry or pout or refuse, do you? Well… maybe you do? I know I sure feel like it sometimes. I literally want to lay down on the ground and have a full on temper tantrum and yell at my husband that he’s so mean when he tries to convince me that I need to. Sometimes times I want to be that petulant little toddler who stubbornly refuses to do as I’m told or as I know I should do. Why? Because it hurts… It just fucking hurts. There I said it.

Some of it is probably in my mind. So yeah, great now on top of being a temper tantrum throwing 2 year old, I’m crazy to boot. But am I? Nothing about diabetes is easy. It’s all a struggle. From counting carbs, assuming you do so, and I’ll admit, I really don’t. To testing your blood sugar. Thank you to the diabetes gods for inventing the Freestyle Libre, or no, maybe that was Abbott. To trying to eat healthy and in my case failing miserably. To getting exercise and losing weight, assuming your overweight. To trying to just understand the disease and control it. It just really really sucks sometimes.

I get overwhelmed by the fear of pain. It only lasts for a moment, even the burning sensation when it enters the skin. It’s definitely not the worst pain I have ever experienced. So why do I want to scream and cry and throw a temper tantrum? Just because I can… because in some little weird way, it makes me feel better, it makes me feel a little more in control… is that weird? I guess so, but I really don’t care. It’s not about wanting a pitty party. It’s not about making a scene. I just that I really don’t like giving injections. In the end, I usually do, but sometimes I chicken out and then feel like a fool. Am I the only one?? Probably not… [...] 

2nd failed sensor

I had my second failed sensor this week. It looked perfect, no issues from looking at it. Wasn’t even starting to come off. It had been on for 9 days out of 14. I woke up around 8:15 am and it read 5.2. That’s about where out should be and I was proud of that. Since getting hurt my blood sugar has been a little high.

About an hour and a half later it showed 11.5 and going up fast, oddly enough I hadn’t even eaten yet. I scanned again just to be sure and it was 12.4 and rising fast (the arrow straight up indicates it’s rising fast). I decided to use the test strips for the Libre and it showed 8.8. I knew then something was wrong with the sensor. [...]  READ MORE

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