I know I certainly don’t. I don’t think any diabetic does, do they? Whether you have Type 1, Type 2 or Gestational Diabetes, if you need to take insulin you just do… don’t you?? You don’t act like a two-year-old, well unless you really are a two year old and scream and cry or pout or refuse, do you? Well… maybe you do? I know I sure feel like it sometimes. I literally want to lay down on the ground and have a full on temper tantrum and yell at my husband that he’s so mean when he tries to convince me that I need to. Sometimes times I want to be that petulant little toddler who stubbornly refuses to do as I’m told or as I know I should do. Why? Because it hurts… It just fucking hurts. There I said it.
Some of it is probably in my mind. So yeah, great now on top of being a temper tantrum throwing 2 year old, I’m crazy to boot. But am I? Nothing about diabetes is easy. It’s all a struggle. From counting carbs, assuming you do so, and I’ll admit, I really don’t. To testing your blood sugar. Thank you to the diabetes gods for inventing the Freestyle Libre, or no, maybe that was Abbott. To trying to eat healthy and in my case failing miserably. To getting exercise and losing weight, assuming your overweight. To trying to just understand the disease and control it. It just really really sucks sometimes.
I get overwhelmed by the fear of pain. It only lasts for a moment, even the burning sensation when it enters the skin. It’s definitely not the worst pain I have ever experienced. So why do I want to scream and cry and throw a temper tantrum? Just because I can… because in some little weird way, it makes me feel better, it makes me feel a little more in control… is that weird? I guess so, but I really don’t care. It’s not about wanting a pitty party. It’s not about making a scene. I just that I really don’t like giving injections. In the end, I usually do, but sometimes I chicken out and then feel like a fool. Am I the only one?? Probably not…
I had my second failed sensor this week. It looked perfect, no issues from looking at it. Wasn’t even starting to come off. It had been on for 9 days out of 14. I woke up around 8:15 am and it read 5.2. That’s about where out should be and I was proud of that. Since getting hurt my blood sugar has been a little high.
About an hour and a half later it showed 11.5 and going up fast, oddly enough I hadn’t even eaten yet. I scanned again just to be sure and it was 12.4 and rising fast (the arrow straight up indicates it’s rising fast). I decided to use the test strips for the Libre and it showed 8.8. I knew then something was wrong with the sensor.
I left it about 30 minutes and checked again and it just read Hi or high. I scanned it a few more times and got a reading with my other meter which was 7 something.
This is what it looks like in the graph.
I called Abbot and they are sending out a replacement sensor. Thankfully I still had 2 unused sensors left because I get then filled 4 at a time!
I have really gotten comfortable with using the Freestyle Libre and now I am obsessed with Diabetes Technology. I have been reading up on everything and would really love to talk to my doctor about an insulin pump or an OmniPod (a tubeless insulin pump). I have a few reasons I would like to look into it more.
First, insulin shots hurt for me. I always hear other diabetics say “oh it doesn’t hurt, it’s just automatic, I don’t even feel it anymore” well I call bullshit on that… it does hurt. Well for me anyways. It hurts a lot. When I give myself an injection of insulin I react almost every time to the needle itself and to the insulin. I get big welts that look like mosquito bites around the injection site that spread out and are super itchy.
In talking to and showing my allergist and immunologist she diagnosed me with dermatographia and chronic hives about 6 months ago after about 3 months of torture everytime I took one of the 5 insulin shots a day I was taking. She at that time suggested a pump but was unsure how I would react to it. At the time I did not have any major reactions to adhesive just to punctures and scratches of the skin so she thought it might be something that might help.
I never did find out though because my endocrinologist said to just wait that they would not put me on a pump until I had completed at least one year of insulin therapy. I’m guessing because I was so new. It was supposed to be the same with the Libre, only it was 2 years of testing and managing blood sugar but my family doctor gave me a prescription anyways and Abbott did not ask and neither did my insurance.
Second, an insulin pump provides greater control and increased flexibility in lifestyle. In other words instead of having to go to the washroom before a meal, test my blood sugar (or mostly scan in this case), figure out how many calories I’m going to eat, calculate how much insulin in my head, prepare and give myself an injection all before I can eat and in a 30 minute work supper break that does not give me much time to actually eat, all I would have to do is calculate the calories, input them into the pump and let it do the rest for me (from my understanding anyways). I would say that is a much better way to go.
At the moment I am not taking meal-time insulin only long acting (24 hour) insulin, however my family doctor said that if I continue to spike over 8 mmol/l after meals then the next time I see him (in one week) that I will have to start back on the short acting insulin and I have continued to spike, despite my A1C going down. So I am not looking forward to that. It means 4 times a day (each meal and at night) I will be injecting again. So really if that is the case maybe it really is time to really look into and contact my health insurance provider to see if it would be covered.
I know sometimes they will say no as well but if you can get a note from a specialist stating that it is medically necessary and not just more for convenience as in the case of the dermatographia then maybe they will consider it. I hear all the time about people lobbying their insurance providers for things that were denied and just keeping at it until they give in. I really have no idea how they do it though.