It’s a good distraction right now I guess. I feel really betrayed right now but maybe my mom is right. I know I shouldn’t have gone over last night but I was really uset and wanted answers. I’m tired of being treated like dirt by guys so I went over to see if he’d talk to me. I had no idea his sister and her little one where there. No one (not him, or them-assuming either of them knew)told me so I rang the bell and got upset when he wouldn’t answer I knew he was there so I said “I’m not leaving till you you talk to me and sat on the step. I rang the bell more times (I lost track of how many but I know it was too much) and I called his phone once. I know it was wrong, I do. And now I feel really really terrible about it. It was bad enough doing it but when there was a child involved even if I didn’t know, well I feel awful. I’ll never forgive myself for that.
Why is it that when you find someone your think could eventually be the right person and someone you might be able to have a long relationship with you mess it up. Or me rather. Am I the only one out there that does that? He seems like such a sweetheart. Brought me breakfast in bed. Bought shampoo for me cause he had none (doesn’t use it cause he has no hair). Says he’s gonna get me something I’ll really like for my birthday. No other guy has cared enough to even give me a card before never mind plan my present out ahead of time.
So I go and call to often and make him mad and text him to much and cost him to much money. I’m sure it’s more than that but don’t I at least deserve some sort of explanation face to face? Why do people always take the easy way out. A quick e-mail or phone call saying see ya later. I really wish we had just stayed friends for a bit longer and maybe it might have worked out. But why go into the might haves and should haves. I fucked up. No other way around it. But this time I really hurt someone that matters to me a lot.
I can’t believe that they came back with a verdict so fast in the Michael Jackson case! I mean come on. I figured for one it would be guilty! But definitel figured it would take a lot longer then that!! Guilty or not the guy is sick! Anyway that’s all I got to say about that!
I had a fast day at work. Mondays are always fast and even though it wasn’t as busy as normal I found it still went by quick. Easier that way. Mondays suck there. Call your claims in another day and leave me the hell alone on Monday!