Don’t Let The Panic Set In!

I’ve been working on reading the first chapters of my textbooks for my first 3 courses today for school. I have to say that 2 of them seem really easy but the third I feel already after one chapter that I may be in over my head. I know I am not and that I can work through it but honestly for a few moments there panic set in! I was starting to wonder what I have gotten myself into. I didn’t understand any of the questions in the assignment at the end of the chapter and it was only the first chapter in the “easier” of the 2 computer science courses.

I feel like I know next to nothing about algorithms and I suck at math specifically algebra or computer algebra or symbolic computation or algebraic computation or whatever you want to call it. So what the heck am I doing taking computer science? The book kind of just jumps right into it, assuming that you came right from high school and that algebra is still fairly fresh in your mind and that maybe you took some computer science related courses in high school (was that even a thing when I was in high school 20 some odd years ago?).

So yeah, again momentary panic set in and again I was like what the heck am I doing taking computer science some 20-odd years later? Then I remember that I am actually quite smart, a quick learner, a good researcher and I have almost endless resources at my fingertips (you know, that thing called the internet), that I love computers and that I want to be a website developer and that I have got this. I can do this. I just need to concentrate, take it one step at a time, brush up on things I don’t remember, take crash courses in things I don’t know or understand and make it work.

I don’t have a choice. I have to do this. Failure is not an option. I have spent too much time letting fear and anxiety get in my way and contribute to past failures. I wanted to do this right out of high school but I let my depression and anxiety get in the way. Not this time. I got this. I can figure it all out. The only thing failing this time is depression and anxiety when I overcome them.

Happy Birthday Dad!

I’ve been spending a lot of time over at my parents since Nova Scotia let up a bit on restrictions and allowed you to join up with another household within your immediate family. I missed them so much and so did Edward. He’s been over twice. It’s a little harder for him to get over there because he’s still working. It’s so nice though to be able to spend time with them.

My Dad’s birthday is today and since Edward works tonight we went over last night and had supper with them and cake. Tonight I am going back over after I take Edward to work at 4 and Mom and I are going to play around a bit more with the Cricut Explore Air 2 that we bought last weekend.

Mom and I spent a few hours yesterday making my dad a t-shirt, hat, and mug with it. I wish I had pictures of them but I don’t. We are still getting used to the machine but what you can do with it is pretty amazing! We’ve made glasses, mugs, bags, hats, t-shirts, decals, and all kinds of things so far. I will start taking pictures of things we make as we get a little bit better at it.

We’ve been having some beautiful summer-like weather the last few days during the day, but at night we still have frost! The days have been reaching the low 20’s and humid and at night down to 2 or 3. I got sunburned a little bit the other day, nothing major though. It’s been nice though to be able to get out around the yard here and on their property and down at their beach area. My dad’s putting in a 20ft rectangle above ground pool that is I think about 4 or 4 1/2 feet deep in their back yard and we are putting up a smaller round easy set 3-foot deep one here when they are done that one.

Other than that I have been mostly working on my websites, I re-did the theme for this one after accidentally deleting it. I am going to soon be working on our craft store website and Etsy store that we are eventually going to set up. I start school a week from tomorrow. The school has been paid their portion of the loan and I should be getting my portion soon.

I am going to start tomorrow by reading the first chapters in my textbooks. I can’t submit anything until June 1st but I want to get a head start and get that first assignment in each of the 3 courses I am taking this semester maybe done this coming week so they are ready to submit. It’ll give me some time as well to go over the course material more. I have already done that to a point but I want to do it again just to ensure I understand everything so I can get any questions out of the way as soon as I can.

I’m getting more and more excited!

I’m officially a university student!

Well almost, the very last thing is the final approval for my loan but I am 100% registered, got my class schedule for my first semester, my student email account set up and Office 365 downloaded and installed, and I even have access to classes as of today. I can get started anytime. I just can’t submit anything, contact the professor or take tests until my final loan approval (as they had to update the amount) and until I receive it and pay tuition. Which should be roughly 10 days before my official start date.

I am so excited! I will be getting started as soon as I get back today from driving my husband to work. He works 2-8 so I plan to spend the whole time looking over the course information, syllabus, study guide, and maybe start on the actual course today. It’s been so long since I was in school and I never finished community college and it’s so different now anyways that I might need today to get acclimated and get an idea of what the process is for doing the work online. But that’s okay, I am just so excited to get myself started and praying that last step goes smoothly.

If for some reason it doesn’t I know I can drop any courses I can’t afford, switch to part-time and pay for one course or two at a time with our Visa paying them off before taking the next one(s). But we are not going to think about that right now right? Positive thoughts. It’s been approved basically anyways, they just need to change the amount, and it is going down not up as they would only let me apply for 2 semesters at a time but the university does it one at a time so you have to apply for two, wait for them to approve, send to the university, the university responds with the updated dates and amounts sends it back (which was done last week) and then student loans reviews and gives final approval. So I am thinking it shouldn’t be an issue.

So, yeah, I am so thrilled and so proud of myself!

Oh and btw, my mom started university today at the University of Manitoba (online) so we are both full-time university students! One almost 40 and the other almost 66!