One of my main concerns about going to university when I made the decision to go was the fact that I have very little for either organizational or study skills. It’s something I have just never developed. I was horrible at it in high school and that was over 20 years ago now (wow, how time flies!) and I have never really developed any skills in that regard since then.
Like most people, I have had to train for my job(s) in the past and sometimes even had tests or things I had to complete in order to graduate to a full employee, but I have never really had any issues because I have never really gone for any jobs that really challenge me. I’ve stuck to things I know and am good enough at, to not have to worry.
Is that laziness? I don’t know… maybe?
I am hoping that I will develop these skills more as I go, however, it’s something that causes me a lot of anxiety. In the past its always been something that has held me back, caused me to not get the grades I am capable of getting because I am smart enough. I just don’t really know sometimes how to apply myself. How to organize and schedule study time, how to sit for any length of time without getting distracted, how to organize what I am reading, or learning into notes that I can review later when I need to before a quiz or test. All things I just don’t really know how to do.
If anyone is any good at that I would love to hear your tips and tricks or if you’ve made a post about it I would love the link…
I am hopeful that I can do this. In fact, I know I can and I know I will. The issue for me is just how to get there. I have never been more sure of something in my life. I know I can do this and I know I will. I just don’t have a clue how to achieve this. Struggling with chronic fatigue and chronic pain probably won’t help, but again I am determined and know that getting up, getting out, and getting moving helps so much with controlling my fatigue and pain. I hate when I know I need to do something. I know the start point, I know the endpoint, but I have no idea how to get from A to B.
I’ve been working on reading the first chapters of my textbooks for my first 3 courses today for school. I have to say that 2 of them seem really easy but the third I feel already after one chapter that I may be in over my head. I know I am not and that I can work through it but honestly for a few moments there panic set in! I was starting to wonder what I have gotten myself into. I didn’t understand any of the questions in the assignment at the end of the chapter and it was only the first chapter in the “easier” of the 2 computer science courses.
I feel like I know next to nothing about algorithms and I suck at math specifically algebra or computer algebra or symbolic computation or algebraic computation or whatever you want to call it. So what the heck am I doing taking computer science? The book kind of just jumps right into it, assuming that you came right from high school and that algebra is still fairly fresh in your mind and that maybe you took some computer science related courses in high school (was that even a thing when I was in high school 20 some odd years ago?).
So yeah, again momentary panic set in and again I was like what the heck am I doing taking computer science some 20-odd years later? Then I remember that I am actually quite smart, a quick learner, a good researcher and I have almost endless resources at my fingertips (you know, that thing called the internet), that I love computers and that I want to be a website developer and that I have got this. I can do this. I just need to concentrate, take it one step at a time, brush up on things I don’t remember, take crash courses in things I don’t know or understand and make it work.
I don’t have a choice. I have to do this. Failure is not an option. I have spent too much time letting fear and anxiety get in my way and contribute to past failures. I wanted to do this right out of high school but I let my depression and anxiety get in the way. Not this time. I got this. I can figure it all out. The only thing failing this time is depression and anxiety when I overcome them.
I’ve been spending a lot of time over at my parents since Nova Scotia let up a bit on restrictions and allowed you to join up with another household within your immediate family. I missed them so much and so did Edward. He’s been over twice. It’s a little harder for him to get over there because he’s still working. It’s so nice though to be able to spend time with them.
My Dad’s birthday is today and since Edward works tonight we went over last night and had supper with them and cake. Tonight I am going back over after I take Edward to work at 4 and Mom and I are going to play around a bit more with the Cricut Explore Air 2 that we bought last weekend.
Mom and I spent a few hours yesterday making my dad a t-shirt, hat, and mug with it. I wish I had pictures of them but I don’t. We are still getting used to the machine but what you can do with it is pretty amazing! We’ve made glasses, mugs, bags, hats, t-shirts, decals, and all kinds of things so far. I will start taking pictures of things we make as we get a little bit better at it.
We’ve been having some beautiful summer-like weather the last few days during the day, but at night we still have frost! The days have been reaching the low 20’s and humid and at night down to 2 or 3. I got sunburned a little bit the other day, nothing major though. It’s been nice though to be able to get out around the yard here and on their property and down at their beach area. My dad’s putting in a 20ft rectangle above ground pool that is I think about 4 or 4 1/2 feet deep in their back yard and we are putting up a smaller round easy set 3-foot deep one here when they are done that one.
Other than that I have been mostly working on my websites, I re-did the theme for this one after accidentally deleting it. I am going to soon be working on our craft store website and Etsy store that we are eventually going to set up. I start school a week from tomorrow. The school has been paid their portion of the loan and I should be getting my portion soon.
I am going to start tomorrow by reading the first chapters in my textbooks. I can’t submit anything until June 1st but I want to get a head start and get that first assignment in each of the 3 courses I am taking this semester maybe done this coming week so they are ready to submit. It’ll give me some time as well to go over the course material more. I have already done that to a point but I want to do it again just to ensure I understand everything so I can get any questions out of the way as soon as I can.