Don’t Let The Panic Set In!

I’ve been working on reading the first chapters of my textbooks for my first 3 courses today for school. I have to say that 2 of them seem really easy but the third I feel already after one chapter that I may be in over my head. I know I am not and that I can work through it but honestly for a few moments there panic set in! I was starting to wonder what I have gotten myself into. I didn’t understand any of the questions in the assignment at the end of the chapter and it was only the first chapter in the “easier” of the 2 computer science courses.

I feel like I know next to nothing about algorithms and I suck at math specifically algebra or computer algebra or symbolic computation or algebraic computation or whatever you want to call it. So what the heck am I doing taking computer science? The book kind of just jumps right into it, assuming that you came right from high school and that algebra is still fairly fresh in your mind and that maybe you took some computer science related courses in high school (was that even a thing when I was in high school 20 some odd years ago?).

So yeah, again momentary panic set in and again I was like what the heck am I doing taking computer science some 20-odd years later? Then I remember that I am actually quite smart, a quick learner, a good researcher and I have almost endless resources at my fingertips (you know, that thing called the internet), that I love computers and that I want to be a website developer and that I have got this. I can do this. I just need to concentrate, take it one step at a time, brush up on things I don’t remember, take crash courses in things I don’t know or understand and make it work.

I don’t have a choice. I have to do this. Failure is not an option. I have spent too much time letting fear and anxiety get in my way and contribute to past failures. I wanted to do this right out of high school but I let my depression and anxiety get in the way. Not this time. I got this. I can figure it all out. The only thing failing this time is depression and anxiety when I overcome them.

2 thoughts on “Don’t Let The Panic Set In!

  1. But don’t you think it will be clearer after some lessons? You’re having some lectures or lessons of sorts, don’t you? I remember when I wanted to learn Italian and bought a dictionary with grammar at the end. I happily looked up the grammar section and nearly had a heart attack when I saw the dozens of verb forms. But I started taking lessons and now I’m at an upper intermediate or close to advanced level. You will have teachers, I’m sure you’re not supposed to learn everything on your own through a book, then why would you need to pay a lot of money to a university, you could just buy a bunch of books?

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