i guess that really made no sense but since i’m not really in the mood to explain… and therefore, well i’m not I’m ok though. just frustrated with myself. no one else. it’s no big deal i guess… i’ll learn eventually. anyways.
it’s 2:50 and once again i’m still in m pj’s. is that a bad thing? i feel so lazy. i feel guilty. why? it’s not like i don’t work hard. i’ve worked my ass of the last few weeks to get to were i am. and yet i feel guilty that i seem to have time and everyone around me seems not too. like it’s my fault. i know it’s not.
i feel guilty for buying the computer. i haven’t even paid for it yet. it’s cash on pickup. yet i feel guilty for spending the money even though i worked so hard to save up specifically for it. why? why can’t i just take things at face value and not worry, or analyze or appologize or pick them apart and wonder why. is it something everyone does? or is it just me.
i feel so guilty. and i shouldn’t. i didn’t do anything wrong. but i feel like i did..
maybe it’s just cause i always have in the past and old habits die hard? or whatever..