I feel like a complete ass

Ever done something you really regret? I did something really stupid today… I lied to someone I really care about. Such a stupid thing to lie about too. But now I’m scared to come clean. If I do will they ever believe me again… Will they think everything I say is a lie… I never meant it. I have no idea why I said it. It just came out. I used to think that a lie can’t “just” come out. There’s a reason you said it. And I still believe that. But for the life of me I can’t figure out why… I guess to make myself feel better? But in the end that’s not what happened. Now I feel like a total ass. And I feel so guilty and like I really let them down. I know I have to come clean (specially since they’ll figure it out eventually) and tell the truth. But why do i do stuff like this? Do I hate myself that much… I never ever wanted to hurt this person and maybe it wont but I’m sure they’ll be dissapointed in me if not mad. Has anyone ever done something like this? Please tell me I’m not alone. Not that it’ll make much of a difference. I’m still the one that did the wrong thing. I’m still the one that owes the apology. And I’m still the one that probably did what I was afraid I’d end up doing in the first place. Why do I do this to myself. I’m so sorry.

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