Maybe moving wasn’t such a great idea…

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Seems I have found another issue with our health system in rural Nova Scotia. I am not sure why I am surprised or if I am even really surprised, but had we stayed in Halifax at least I would likely have had access to counseling and/or to a psychologist. Here, however, there is no one. There appears to be no one taking on patients in Yarmouth, only one psychologist in Digby who is not returning calls and anyone in the Annapolis Valley, Middleton, Kentville or New Minas I called was either retired, semi-retired and/or not taking on patients. The community mental health and addictions program basically told me that they deal more with addictions and other things and don’t deal with PTSD or adjustment disorder type things and that if it was related to a car accident I would need to go through my car insurance or private health insurance and see a private doctor or counselor.

I called them back today as there is no one and the girl was new and didn’t understand why I was told that and said she would have someone contact me about it. I am not very hopeful though. At this point, I just find it frustrating and more than a little bit frightening. Why does it feel like something drastic has to happen before you can get any help? And what if I can’t find anyone or worse yet, what if I can but can’t afford them because my private insurance wants me to pay upfront and be reimbursed or something. I already assume I have to do that with physio, though I am really not sure about that. I really feel like I have no one guiding me or helping me get the help I need. My family and my husband are concerned about me and about it. I’m supposed to go back to work after Christmas and I have not even heard from short-term yet.

I am guessing maybe that is because Friday would have been day 5 and last time it was another 2-3 days before I heard from them so I am guessing mid-week this week. Maybe they can help guide me in the right direction. As long as they don’t give me a hard time about everything. At the moment everything feels pretty hopeless and I feel so helpless. This past weekend was our family Christmas dinner in Freeport. I went because I had promised my mom, that and my family thought it would be good for me. I had a good time in one way and it was good to get out but it tired me out so much both physically and mentally. I had a really hard time with the drive and getting on and off of the ferry (the ramps). I am not scared of the ferry itself and love the feeling of being on the water. I just hated the drive and the feelings of panic it caused. At the same time, the places I saw and stories I heard brought back memories of my Uncle and my Grandparents and some other family members or friends of the family that have passed on. It’s made me miss my Grandparents and my Uncle so much.

I woke up this morning feeling really down. I slept in till 9 am and only got up because I wanted to get in the shower before Eddie went to work. With the pain I have been in and the way I have been feeling I didn’t want to get in the shower when I was home alone. After the shower, while putting my pajamas back on to dry my hair before getting dressed I started crying again out of nowhere. I think Eddie was concerned about going to work and leaving me alone but at the same time, he had to. So he went but he texted me the whole bus ride to work. I am so bad right now that even him or the thought of anyone in my family being in a vehicle really bothers me, which annoys me because it is so stupid, but it does.

I never made it out of my pajamas this morning and I am still in them and on the couch under my heated blanket watching foreign TV shows. I am a huge fan of both WWII shows and medical shows and I noticed Charité at War on Netflix Canada a few days ago and was about to watch it when I realized that Charité was the first series which was set in the 1880’s. I was interested and it had some good German actors in it that I have heard of so I figured I would start with Charité and then watch Charité at War after, and I really loved them both, both ended up being really good. I didn’t even find them hard to follow, but maybe because I can understand some German. The hardest part for me is that they talk a bit too fast for me to follow, but the subtitles helped with that and I only had to rewind once or twice to catch something I missed. I finished the second series today.

Next, I am going to watch a Danish one called The Day Will Come, about brothers who end up in an orphanage in the late 1960s and a cruel headmaster. The Day Will Come is in Danish so I will have to pay a bit more attention to the subtitles but I am sure I will still get most of it. It has good reviews. I am really getting into foreign shows on Netflix. I will have to look and see what other ones are there. I previously really liked Cable Girls on Netflix which was Spanish. I did find it a bit harder to follow, but at least they are giving me something to do while I wait for Eddie to get home from work. Mom’s supposed to pick him up at 8 and bring him home. Another thing I feel tremendous guilt about. Not being able to go out and get him. I used to enjoy it. Enjoy the time in the car driving and waiting for him, now I don’t even want to think about it…

4 thoughts on “Maybe moving wasn’t such a great idea…

  1. I’m so sorry the accident has affected you so much to the point that you feel like this. It’s a shame really that there are no psychologists. I thought Canada had some sort of public health care, or is it mixed like in Ireland?

    1. We do have public health care but it has its limitations, “primary” things I guess you could say are covered like emergency care, family doctors, etc, but lots of “secondary” things like physiotherapy, medications (when outside the hospital), counseling, seeing certain specialists like psychologists, psychiatrists, chiropractors, etc, and other things that are put through private insurance if you have it or you go on what can be rather long waitlists if you don’t have it for “free” care, or if it’s covered under some sort of insurance it has to go through that first and then if you exhaust that they may put you on the waitlist (or may not depending on the situation).

      Lots of people end up getting stuck in “between” because they may have insurance but they may need to pay upfront and get reimbursed so they don’t “qualify” for government-funded stuff but yet they can’t afford to pay upfront. I use brackets because a lot of this is really dependant on where you live, each province is in charge of its own health care and some are better than others or have better provincial coverage or in some practically no coverage at all. It’s very messy and mixed up and lots of times you really don’t even know what you have access to or what is covered by what and it’s hard to get help with that too. Sometimes the insurance companies will say you have no coverage when you do or will deny things after years of covering it. They really have no one to report to it seems and can do whatever the hell they like.

      Most provinces have issues and if you are rural you are even worse off in most provinces because you have to travel quite a bit to get at things. Nova Scotia has a major issue with a lack of funding lack of doctors, lack of nurses and other qualified professionals as well (I think a few other provinces have the same or similar situation as well). Our health care system in this province is a real mess and federally they have moved more and more things to the provincial level and the provinces with more money tend to have better services and even that is changing as more things get privatized.

      If you have the money or good insurance that will cover it you can get private services and skip the wait lines. Lots of people aren’t getting the help they need whether it is for cancer treatment, or treatment of diseases like MS and sometimes it’s too late or they can’t afford something that could help or significantly improve their lives or symptoms.

  2. I listen to a podcast based in Canada called No Sleep. It’s a horror podcast, but they talk about mental health and “Better Help” (betterhelp. com). It’s something I want to try, as I am also frustrated with my local care, and I live in a big city! Maybe it’s something that would help you?

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