Mixed emotions and surrealism


This is a meme going around Facebook right now and it couldn’t be more appropriate for what the last two weeks have looked like. I have to admit when I first saw it I laughed. I am not laughing anymore. It’s been two weeks of mixed emotions and a completely surreal feeling. The Coronavirus and Covid-19 have been in our vocabulary for a while now but as I am pretty sure all of you know by now watching it unfold from a distance is one thing, but when it becomes your reality it’s a whole different thing, and it shouldn’t be. I mean it’s not like we didn’t know it was coming, we did, we knew, but again having no cases of it here and watching it unfold elsewhere is terrifying and unsettling but you can’t help but still have that little tiny part of you that says, well, maybe it won’t actually happen here or maybe it won’t be so bad.

Having never been through an epidemic myself before really, never mind a pandemic I guess I was one of those ones that watched in almost fascinated horror wondering how it could be happening but compartmentalized it because I had never really lived through anything similar. We never really got affected by SARS in 2003. H1N1, I don’t know but it just never seemed that bad here in Nova Scotia and I was also half a world away in Afghanistan. So this is really the only one that I can actually remember the province actually doing anything about. And doing something about it we are. Today they declared a State of Emergency in Nova Scotia. We had no cases on March 14th, 2020, three presumed on March 15th, 2020 and now 7 days later we have 28 cases. I honestly don’t know how that compares to other places, so don’t ask me… I really don’t know.

For a week officially we have been practicing social distancing. However, Edward and I have been doing it longer since I was concerned about my parents who live close to us and are in their mid to late 60’s and not in the greatest health and also because Eddie and I both have Asthma and I am a diabetic. Two days ago (I think, the days are all starting to melt together and it’s only been a week) our Prime Minister (of Canada) closed our borders to non-Canadian and told all Canadians overseas it was time to come home and also that if they didn’t they may risk not being able to get home for a while.

Today the Province has banned any gatherings of more than 5 people, including stores (exceptions would be essential stores like grocery or pharmacies where we still have to practice social distancing), workplaces, etc. Schools were closed earlier in the week for at least a weeks, probably longer. A few days ago to was anything over 150 people. They have closed all beaches and provincial parks in the province. They have told all workplaces to shut down and move people to work from home if at all possible and implemented fines for not social distancing or self-isolation if you came from out of province within the last 14 days. They have advised us to stay in our neighbourhoods and not travel around the province and closed our provincial borders and stay at home as much as possible and have one person do groceries alone and isolate anyone who is sick within the home as much as possible.

And, of course, I have been sick for almost 3 weeks now with a cold or flu. I am not sure which as I seem to have all symptoms of both and of Covid-19 as well. I can’t be tested though because I haven’t travelled outside the province. We can’t isolate me any further within the house as our whole house is super tiny. We are following all other precautions and staying 6ft apart and facing away from each other when sleeping. We also have not seen my parents in almost 2 weeks other than the one or two times Eddie has seen mom or dad at Walmart as he still has to work.

All of this is necessary and most of us, myself and Eddie and my parents included have been calling for the government to do this for almost 3 weeks or even since the first cases started in Canada because we know our healthcare system would quickly become overwhelmed and people would die. This is all in hopes that we can slow the curve so the health care system can deal with it better and provide the best care possible while not having to make the decisions that officials in Italy have had to make over the last few weeks. We will know for sure in a few weeks to a month or so if it’s working.

Today though, the province decided to take that extra step as people were not listening and ignoring what they were being asked to do. Mentally I am not sure how I am doing. I am having so many feelings and emotions. I actually got approved for my government student loan. Even though schools are closed mine is actually an online school based in Alberta and so far is not affected by all the closures and the couple of provinces that have also declared states of emergencies, at least not yet. We have no physical classes, all virtual so for now we are safe and my start date should be June 1st, 2020. I’m excited and happy about that but feel a bit guilty being happy about something when everything else is going on all over the world right now.

This has been such a bad year the whole world over. I really hope that the countries, WHO and medical officials worldwide can get this under control but we are being told it could be the end of summer or even longer and to prepare for the worst-case scenario just in case we stay in a state of emergency for longer. I’m scared but also know I am not alone and that probably everyone I know and everyone reading this is probably dealing with the same thing or similar right now or will be soon or have already been dealing with it. So I know I am not alone but that doesn’t make me feel any better knowing other people are feeling the same uncertainty and fear I am.

Oh yeah and the end of the meme? The snow? Well, we are getting a storm Tuesday and it’s calling for strong winds again (anyone who’s read any of my posts since the beginning of last summer knows we’ve been hit hard this year with storms), heavy rain and a ton of snow again. So yeah. It does kinda feel like life is being written by a 4th grader at the moment.

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7 thoughts on “Mixed emotions and surrealism

  1. I’m not panicking when it comes to this pandemic but I’m taking the proper precautions because it’s the logical thing to do. Unfortunately many people aren’t taking it serious enough and they’re attending social gatherings/functions and are becoming irate that we’re now in a position of being forced to stay put. I feel that it is necessary if we’re going to slow down the spread of this thing. I’m immunocompromised as well. I have asthma and I also do not have a spleen so my immune system is always vulnerable. These are scary times we live in, not just because of this virus but because of peoples blatant lack of regard for the safety of other people during this time. I pray that we all get through this.

    1. I’m not really panicking either but I do feel a sense of seriousness and urgency that I feel so many other people don’t feel or are just ignoring because they feel the rules are an infringement on their rights. I see that on Facebook so much and it annoys me. When a pandemic happens to keep everyone safe the government and health officials have to infringe on people’s rights sometimes, especially when in the beginning they try not to but people don’t listen to or heed their suggestions. It’s the only way as you say to slow this down. Even though it’s been almost a week our government here had to impose strict fines and stuff because people weren’t listening. I pray that we all get through this as well and hope you are doing well Shannon xo

  2. I have never been through a major epidemic like this. To be honest, when I heard about this I figured it would be like others and never be like this. Life has a funny way of changing your life. Take care of yourself.

    1. Yes! I never expected this either. I figured it would be like everything else we have dealt with since 2000 epidemic wise and figured it would pass and not really affect us much. It didn’t take me long though to realize this was serious and still is. Hope you are doing well Danielle xo

  3. I personally haven’t been too worried about getting sick. But at the same time, I have been temporary laid off so I’m only leaving the house once a week for groceries and keeping my son inside. I really hope we get a handle on this because I have plane tickets to come home to Nova Scotia at the end of July for a visit. If I have to cancel, I will be so sad. I haven’t seen my parent’s in about a year and even longer for the rest of my family. I still have my fingers crossed.

    What school are you attending? I found out that I will be laid off for good at the end of May or June. I don’t know if the pandemic will extend that, but if I don’t have enough hours for EI (which I currently don’t due to being on Mat Leave until almost February) I was thinking of going back to school too.

    1. I wasn’t too worried in the beginning because of not working outside the home and things seemed so far away, now that NS is going up quickly in cases it’s a bit more worrying since Eddie still goes out to work as he is working at Walmart. Hopefully, they do get a handle on this soon and that you get to come home to NS to see your family. Let me know if you happen to come to the Digby area I Hope you and your family and son are doing well xo.

      I am going to Athabasca University in June. Well, online. Everything is available online through them. They are based in Alberta. I applied for a student loan and was accepted pretty quickly and didn’t even think I would qualify but I did. Maybe check that out as an option.

  4. This thing is so scary and honestly like many others freaks me out. I still have to work, but that’s the only time I’m going out. Otherwise my butt is staying at home.

    Please stay safe. Also don’t feel guilty for feeling happy, you have a right and its important when things are like this. Congrats on the loan, by the way.

    Please stay safe!

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