it hurts to look back and remember
remember how it felt to feel so alive
the sentiment, and the joy
of what it felt like when I thrive

shame, guilt and anger
cloud my better judgment
make me want to sometimes cry
to scream out in bewilderment

sometimes I just want to hide
to bury my head in the sand
and live life day by day
to get out of this no man’s land

i remember what it was like
to be happy and content
when I delighted in the mundane
not stuck in this rapid decent

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