Not sure I can handle this…

I’m so fucking sick it’s not funny. I puked about 6 times at work. Once I even had to leave a call. I looked at Bethany and said I know we are supposed to wait but I’m going to puke right here if I don’t go. She just gave me a sympathetic look and said go and she finished the call for me. We sound alike on the phone. So she didn’t even tell them it was someone else. And QA probably wont know. I think that was so sweet. God I feel so fucking horrible. My head feels like it’s gonna explode again. I’m all tense and I hurt all over. I can’t do this for 2 more months. There has to be some way to make this easier. Who knew… I mean this frightens me what it’s doing to me. What the hell did the meds do when I was taking them if it’s so fucking bad coming off. I don’t even wanna think about it. I’m gonna make damn sure I will be able to do this med free. I absolutely do not want to go back on. But I’m worried. I can’t afford to miss anytime from work. I’m scared I might loose the job.

I can’t so this… I don’t know what the hell to do. There has to be something…

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