I wrote him an e-mail today explaining how I’m feeling right now and I gotta say wether or not it helps I feel like a weights been lifted of my shoulders even if I was crying my heart out as I was writing it.
This is from the group that I posted there but it’s so accurate for how I’m feeling today I decided to add it here too.
I’m feeling really down today. I am really frustrated about a lot of things. I went to group last night and some things other people said made me think hard. I’m almost 25 and I have no idea what I want to do with my life! I have a decent job that pays more then minimum wage but I’m not happy with it. It’s kinda stressful at times and monotonous. It’s the same thing over and over again. I can’t see myself there in another year. Yet if I don’t so something that’s exactly where I’ll be or I’ll loose the job and have nothing, that’s happened before too.
I’m in a fairly new relationship with a great guy but I know I’m taking it way to seriously right now and I’m scared it’s going to turn into the same thing my last one did with him saying se ya and never wanna see ya again. I think I need to just chill out and let things just happen as they happen with us. I care about him enough I don’t wanna loose him but I’m pushing him away at the same time. It’s the same thing I always do. [...]
I can’t believe that they came back with a verdict so fast in the Michael Jackson case! I mean come on. I figured for one it would be guilty! But definitel figured it would take a lot longer then that!! Guilty or not the guy is sick! Anyway that’s all I got to say about that!
I had a fast day at work. Mondays are always fast and even though it wasn’t as busy as normal I found it still went by quick. Easier that way. Mondays suck there. Call your claims in another day and leave me the hell alone on Monday!
Kinda cold and feeling sick. Was sick at work. I think swimming wasn’t such a good idea Sunday night at Chocolate Lake with everyone. Not that Art went in but Tara and I did and Percey eventually did after some coaxing (and splashing :)) Musta tired us both out cause we slept till 8:30 last night! [...]