why does no one listen to me?

I think I may have finaly gotten my point through. That putting me. A 25 year old female just starting her “adult life” (or any other girl or even guy for that matter that is younger then 25) in a group of mostly women who are all over 35 most going through divorse and divorse being a large topic in the group. You can’t put someone who’s still feeling out realationships and dating and shit in that group! They don’t realize how much it has destroyed my faith in marriage, and realationships in general. I feel like I got nothing out of that group. They wanted me to participate more. But what was the point. The people in that group have no fucking idea what I’m going through right now. As I have no fucking idea what they are going through. We’re in a totally different place in the world. My mom is pissed. She says it wasn’t fair and wasn’t right and that it’s not fair I get “punished” by Jacqueline for not participating in something that was making me come home feeling like it just wasn’t worth the effort because I’d end up in the same place in 20 years. When it comes to depression you need to do group therapy by age as well as “topic”. I should have been in a group of people closer to my own age who were dealing with issues similar to mine. No matter how trivial they might seem to someone 45 going through divorse or whatever. It wasn’t fair to me. It wasn’t fair to the other people in the group. I left feeling worse then when I started 10 weeks ago.

The only thing good that came from it was I met people who care. Reguardless of the fact that we are dealing with totally different things they care and they feel for me the same as I feel for them. But I can’t really be of much help to them anymore then they can to me. And the other good thing was that I think Terry and Catherine figured out it wasn’t the best thing for me. That it was “their” mistake this time not mine. But how many times do I have to beat my head against the fucking wall before they realize it’s not helping me. Who the fuck other then me would know it’s not helping. If I say it’s not helping. It’s NOT fucking helping me! Why should I be punished for it… Or at least feel like I’m being punished for it. It’s not my fault that nothing is geared towards people 18-25 and 25-35, etc.

I feel kinda let down…

don’t want to go to group

I have group again tonight and I don’t really feel like going. It’s one of the last ones. I think that there is just one week left after this week. Other then meeting a few people I don’t feel it was really worth it. I was suppsed to go for ice cream today with _juju_ but I had so much to do and never got it done. I’m just getting nowhere fast it seems. Sorry _juju_ I will go next time!

New Layout

What do you think of the new layout? I got tired of dark… my moods have been to dark lately and I needed something with a little bit of colour. I’m not a 100% happy with it but it’s the best I can do right now. I’m just not in he mood to do anything too complicated. I’m at a total loss. I just don’t know what to do with myself… I feel stuck in a vast desert or something. I don’t enjoy anything. Yet I don’t hate it either. I just do it if I have to. I don’t feel happy. I don’t feel sad. I just don’t feel much of anything right now.