One of my main concerns about going to university when I made the decision to go was the fact that I have very little for either organizational or study skills. It’s something I have just never developed. I was horrible at it in high school and that was over 20 years ago now (wow, how time flies!) and I have never really developed any skills in that regard since then.
Like most people, I have had to train for my job(s) in the past and sometimes even had tests or things I had to complete in order to graduate to a full employee, but I have never really had any issues because I have never really gone for any jobs that really challenge me. I’ve stuck to things I know and am good enough at, to not have to worry.
Is that laziness? I don’t know… maybe?
I am hoping that I will develop these skills more as I go, however, it’s something that causes me a lot of anxiety. In the past its always been something that has held me back, caused me to not get the grades I am capable of getting because I am smart enough. I just don’t really know sometimes how to apply myself. How to organize and schedule study time, how to sit for any length of time without getting distracted, how to organize what I am reading, or learning into notes that I can review later when I need to before a quiz or test. All things I just don’t really know how to do.
If anyone is any good at that I would love to hear your tips and tricks or if you’ve made a post about it I would love the link…
I am hopeful that I can do this. In fact, I know I can and I know I will. The issue for me is just how to get there. I have never been more sure of something in my life. I know I can do this and I know I will. I just don’t have a clue how to achieve this. Struggling with chronic fatigue and chronic pain probably won’t help, but again I am determined and know that getting up, getting out, and getting moving helps so much with controlling my fatigue and pain. I hate when I know I need to do something. I know the start point, I know the endpoint, but I have no idea how to get from A to B.
This past week was my last week before school officially starts. I am not sure if I’ve mentioned this or not but Edward and I made the decision that since my student loan is enough to cover most of our costs after the tuition is taken out and he is working pretty much full-time at the moment and we are ahead, that for a while at least I am not going to work at all. I am just going to concentrate 100% in the beginning and not work part-time or full-time at all.
I’ve been working on getting The Great Candian Housewife blog and also my mom and I are starting a crafting business, so between all of that I don’t have much spare time or time to take on a job on top of everything else and we want me to be concentrating and doing well in school. It still feels weird saying “school”, that I am in school and am almost 40 (a little over a month), but I am.
My mom and I have been mainly just crafting and starting on reading some of the course outlines and into materials and getting familiar with things. We’ve done a lot with the Cricut and mom’s done some other crafts as well. The image at the top is some of the things we’ve made. I have a domain name for it already and we have an Etsy site and now a Facebook page. We plan to sell both locally and within the province as well as ship anywhere.
I absolutely love doing the glass stuff like the mugs, candle holders, even candles, wine glasses, etc. I want to eventually make some of my own designs instead of just finding and downloading ones. We’ve bought some and found some that are free for commercial use. I also need to work a bit on my photography skills when it comes to taking pictures of the things that we are making. I have been working on a logo for the company but I’m not really happy with it yet.
Overall it’s been a great week. Lots of time spent with mom and dad and my brother while Eddie was at work and some when he wasn’t. Things are coming together nicely.
I’ve been working on reading the first chapters of my textbooks for my first 3 courses today for school. I have to say that 2 of them seem really easy but the third I feel already after one chapter that I may be in over my head. I know I am not and that I can work through it but honestly for a few moments there panic set in! I was starting to wonder what I have gotten myself into. I didn’t understand any of the questions in the assignment at the end of the chapter and it was only the first chapter in the “easier” of the 2 computer science courses.
I feel like I know next to nothing about algorithms and I suck at math specifically algebra or computer algebra or symbolic computation or algebraic computation or whatever you want to call it. So what the heck am I doing taking computer science? The book kind of just jumps right into it, assuming that you came right from high school and that algebra is still fairly fresh in your mind and that maybe you took some computer science related courses in high school (was that even a thing when I was in high school 20 some odd years ago?).
So yeah, again momentary panic set in and again I was like what the heck am I doing taking computer science some 20-odd years later? Then I remember that I am actually quite smart, a quick learner, a good researcher and I have almost endless resources at my fingertips (you know, that thing called the internet), that I love computers and that I want to be a website developer and that I have got this. I can do this. I just need to concentrate, take it one step at a time, brush up on things I don’t remember, take crash courses in things I don’t know or understand and make it work.
I don’t have a choice. I have to do this. Failure is not an option. I have spent too much time letting fear and anxiety get in my way and contribute to past failures. I wanted to do this right out of high school but I let my depression and anxiety get in the way. Not this time. I got this. I can figure it all out. The only thing failing this time is depression and anxiety when I overcome them.