So why is it that…

So why is it that I’m bound and determined to fall in love with someone who wants to just be friends. I’ve been trying hard to let the feelings I have kinda fizzle out some. But it’s hard. He’s in university and this week between the hours I’ve been working and the ones he’s been working I haven’t seen him all week. Talked to him on the phone for a few minutes on one of my breaks but that’s it. I hate the fact that the more I’m around him and even the more I’m not I just fall deeper and deeper. Do I love him? Can you love someone you’ve only known a few months? I don’t know. All I know is that the time I’m with him is magical. When he touches me I feel like I’m the most beautiful and treasured woman alive. He makes me forget all the feelings of aloneness and abandonment that I often feel. I care about him so much. He knows to a point how I feel. But he doesn’t feel the same. So what the heck do I do? How do you forget feelings for someone like that? I care about him so much. In the little bit of time that I’ve been around him I feel so much better about myself. I feel the love that I crave so much. Is that just because I’m seeing in this what I want to see? Am I mistaking a little caring for love? Is it odd that I want just want to be around him. That all I can think about is how much I care about him.

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