Life’s what happen’s when your
busy making other plans

As John Lennon once said. I’ve been so busy typing that I have hardly had any time for anything else, including making any plan’s, so I would say the opposite applies here.  We’ve had so much work that there is little time for anything else, including taking the course for the job that I ended up having to turn down because I didn’t have the time to do the course for it. It was only going to be seasonal and part-time anyhow. I may try to take the tax preparation course later on my own time and next year try and prepare some tax returns for people on my own. It’s not like the job had any benefits anyways, minimum wage, no guarantee of hours, seasonal, no health or dental. All things I would need if I decided to make it my primary job.

Edward’s only found part-time work here at the moment, but there is a decent chance he can get full time sometime down the road as it’s a department store. Unfortunately since the job we moved down here for didn’t pan out it’s left me without health benefits for a year until his kicks in, at least he will have benefits being part-time as most part-time jobs don’t even have benefits. It’ll only be 50% coverage and not 80% as we currently have till the middle of next month, it’s left us in a bit of a pickle as my grandmother used to say. We have a year with no benefits and my medications and libre cost upwards of $350 a month. So, I’ve made an appointment next week with my family doctor to beg him to take me off insulin, which I only went on because we were trying to get pregnant and put me back on metformin or something else that is much cheaper and will save me the cost of the insulin pens and needles.

I am hoping we can swing the $89 every 2 weeks to keep getting the Libre sensors so I can keep a close eye on my blood sugar and that an oral medication will hopefully work and be cheaper. If not I really don’t know what we are going to do as paying for health and dental privately is super expensive when you have a pre-existing condition We didn’t think this would be an issue because my insurance was extended for 3 months and Edward’s was supposed to kick in in three months leaving us only a 2 week period in between with the other job and it was 80% as well.

Its kind left me worried and not sure what’s going to happen. I am sure my doctor is not going to be very thrilled with me at the moment, but he’s going to have to help me figure out a different solution because $300-350 a month is not something we can afford. I want off insulin anyways. I understand that eventually, I may end up going back on it but it was only supposed to be pre-pregnancy, pregnancy and a little bit after pregnancy anyways and then back to oral medications, so since pregnancy is pretty much out of the picture anyways I might as well see if he will consider another alternative for now.

Money is so tight right now and it’s stressful but I don’t regret the move here at all. To help with the finances Edward has started transcribing as well and he’s actually really good at it We both can type 49 wpm, his accuracy is about 95% and mine 97% so we are acutually really close. He just has to get used to listening and typing what he is hearing and the formatting but otherwise he is doing really good and it’s extra money for us. I think once we get everything ironed out it will still have been better for us in the long run, even if right now is a little bit rocky. I am sure we will get things sorted out and we will get back 100% on our feet again. I have plans. Plans that include, healthier eating, getting fit, losing weight, and hopefully reducing the number of medications I need or maybe reversing diabetes altogether, it’s probably rare but it’s possible with type 2 and I am determined to do it.

I plan to walk as much as I can, swim and skate. I want to start hiking again in the spring and maybe try softball or something. I would love to get on a softball or bowling team with my husband, he was all for us getting healthier and losing weight and eating better. I am not really good with healthy eating but I am going to make an appointment with the diabetic nutritionist in Annapolis and try and see if they can help me come up with some meal ideas and plans. There is so much I want us to start doing, but I have no idea how to put it into action, organization and planning has never been something I’m very good at, but right now I am looking up ideas online as I write this

2018 – A Year in Review

Happy New Years!!! Well, it is New Year’s Eve and tonight we are heading to my parent’s house for a new years eve party. They invited a bunch of friends of the family and we are staying the night as we don’t want anyone drinking and driving. We’re going to bring our blow up air mattress we got for camping a few years ago for our honeymoon and sleeping somewhere, though I am not sure yet where. We are going to play games like Uno and Bad People a game my parents got for Christmas.

Anyways, I’ve written and re-written this a few times. I find it a bit hard to look back on a whole year, mostly just because it’s hard to remember what happened when and also I never know what is the best way to write about it. Sometimes I feel writing is not one of my strong points, even though I have been blogging for almost 20 years – more than half my life! I’m just going to jump in though and sort of go in chronological order and do the best that I can to remember everything, not that there really is all that much to remember.

Edward gets his learners permit!

In January of 2018, Edward took and passed the test to get his learners permit and I have been teaching him all year to drive. I am really proud of my husband for this one and I know it seems like it’s his accomplishment and not my own, which it 100% is, but I am proud of myself for teaching him and helping him realise that he could do it. I’ve learned a bit about myself in the process. I am a pretty patient person and never really thought myself to be. Sometimes I get annoyed and forget he’s just learning but I am sure that if he was my child and not my husband I would probably do the same thing.

Getting my Freestyle Libre system

At some point in January while at my doctor’s office I mentioned to him seeing an advertisement for the Freestyle Libre flash glucose monitoring system. He told me that one of his receptionists Michelle was diabetic and used it and that she loved to let people know about it and told me to go talk to her and then do a little research on if my insurance would cover it and come back to him in a week and he would write me a prescription if I still wanted to try it. I decieded to go for it after speaking to Michelle and confirming with my insurance it was covered.

I can’t express how much I love the Libre. It’s helped me determine which foods and drinks really raise my blood sugar. It’s helped me determine how being sick affects my blood sugar and it’s helped me get my A1C down from 8.2 to the latest one which was 6.6 and it was even lower at one point at 6.2 which is the lowest I have been in a few years since being told I may be pre-diabetic.

It’s easy to install, with easy to follow instructions and other then sometimes stinging a little or occasionally getting a “bleeder” which is just a little blood coming through the hole in the sensor if you hit a vein, it’s virtually pain free and means that I only have to do a finger poke occasionally to ensure the sensor is working rather than when I get up, before and after each meal, when I go to bed and in the middle of the night overnight. With neuropathy in my fingers, it is really painful so I am glad to minimize the number of times I have to use test strips and a drop of blood and the Libre allows this.

Spending the summer and fall on crutches

In June I hurt my left knee and ankle when I slipped on my parent’s basement stairs. At first, I literally got up and walked up the stairs and went upstairs and sat down. Later when I got up to go home I noticed my knee was swollen and hurting a lot. I limped out and the next day Eddie took me to the emergency department because it was really swollen and I couldn’t put any weight on it and I had also hurt my neck and back as well. They sent me home without doing an x-ray or anything and just said it was sprained and to keep off it and take a few days off.

After about 7-10 days it was not getting any better and was really painful and swollen so I went back and it was x-rayed and I was told there were no fractures but I did have a bad sprain (grade 2) to both my knee and ankle and would need to see a specialist. I was told no weight at all on it until I started physio and to continue using crutches. I ended up being put off work for a while because I had to keep my leg elevated due to the swelling.

At the end of July I was bored but still in pain but wanted to try going back to work so I started back early August after they gave me the all clear.  I was back 2 weeks (while still using crutches and waiting to see a specialist) when I slipped in the shower and landed on my left side, the same side that was already hurt. I ended up re-hurting my knee and hurting my hip. This time an on-call doctor at my doctors office was really concerned I may have fractured my hip and sent me for x-rays after the hospital sent me home for a second time without them, but I was unable to get in the position they needed for the x-rays due to the pain and swelling so I was told I needed to stay off my leg completely and stay in bed for a week while they waited for the swelling to go down and try again. During this time I developed numbness, discolouration and tingling as well as more pain in my groin and thigh.

The x-rays showed nothing but my family doctor was still concerned and after talking with my physiotherapist who at that point refused to touch me until I had more x-rays of my whole leg and hip, referred me to an orthopaedic surgeon. He sent me for first a CT scan and then after finding what he thought might be something a bone scan which came back negative. It took me another month to get back on my feet enough to go back to work. I was off until the beginning of October when I convinced them to let me go back.

In October I got the final results of the x-rays, CT and bone scan and the orthopaedic specialist said that it appears that I damaged the bottom of my spinal cord and nerve endings coming out of the bottom of my spine and through my hip. He figured it was causing the pain, swelling, numbness and causing weakness when trying to walk. I was told to continue using crutches and slowly increase the weight bearing until my leg could handle it. I still have pain, swelling and numbness now but I am able to bear weight and walk short distances unaided and am slowly increasing the walking each day or two.

Making the move to Digby and new jobs

During all the above chaos my parents let us know that they were moving to Digby, they had been talking about it for a few months, my cousin who lives in the US was looking for a retirement/vacation home here in Nova Scotia and she asked my parents who she knew wanted to move back to Digby that if she could find the right place if they would move in and take care of it for a reduced rent and they said yes. Mom actually found the perfect place and my cousin came to see it and fell in love with it and her and her husband bought it. During that time my parents decided they wanted to purchase a small house near Digby for them to move into when my cousin and her husband moved here in a few years. They found and purchased a small cottage on October 1st.

We’d been saying for a while, Edward and I, that we wanted to move out of the city but it seemed like a long way off. After my parents bought the cottage they mentioned renting it out on Airbnb for a few years after fixing it up a little or finding someone to rent it to on a more permanent basis for a few years. Somewhere along the way we brought up the idea of renting from them if we could find jobs down there and they agreed and we decided that the first one of us that got a job we would move. Eddie got offered a job right away and we ended up giving notice at workplaces and I took a transfer leave to see if I could find a position with the bank down here and we moved around the middle of November but we still kept the apartment another month until the end of December so we could take our time packing and moving.

Eddie’s job kind of fell through but we both have jobs here now and are getting settled in and starting our jobs both on the 3rd of January. In the meantime, I am working from home transcribing which I actually really enjoy and am going to keep doing part-time on the side for my mom’s company. I will be working part-time in an office doing tax returns and part-time at home transcribing and Edward’s going to be working in a department store.

Who really likes giving injections?

I know I certainly don’t. I don’t think any diabetic does, do they? Whether you have Type 1, Type 2 or Gestational Diabetes, if you need to take insulin you just do… don’t you?? You don’t act like a two-year-old, well unless you really are a two year old and scream and cry or pout or refuse, do you? Well… maybe you do? I know I sure feel like it sometimes. I literally want to lay down on the ground and have a full on temper tantrum and yell at my husband that he’s so mean when he tries to convince me that I need to. Sometimes times I want to be that petulant little toddler who stubbornly refuses to do as I’m told or as I know I should do. Why? Because it hurts… It just fucking hurts. There I said it.

Some of it is probably in my mind. So yeah, great now on top of being a temper tantrum throwing 2 year old, I’m crazy to boot. But am I? Nothing about diabetes is easy. It’s all a struggle. From counting carbs, assuming you do so, and I’ll admit, I really don’t. To testing your blood sugar. Thank you to the diabetes gods for inventing the Freestyle Libre, or no, maybe that was Abbott. To trying to eat healthy and in my case failing miserably. To getting exercise and losing weight, assuming your overweight. To trying to just understand the disease and control it. It just really really sucks sometimes.

I get overwhelmed by the fear of pain. It only lasts for a moment, even the burning sensation when it enters the skin. It’s definitely not the worst pain I have ever experienced. So why do I want to scream and cry and throw a temper tantrum? Just because I can… because in some little weird way, it makes me feel better, it makes me feel a little more in control… is that weird? I guess so, but I really don’t care. It’s not about wanting a pitty party. It’s not about making a scene. I just that I really don’t like giving injections. In the end, I usually do, but sometimes I chicken out and then feel like a fool. Am I the only one?? Probably not…