I Want To Be Hopefull

covid, covid-2019, covid-19

This is going to be another all over the place post and it’s a bit lengthy because once I start sometimes I can’t stop. I think at this point my mind has just decided that it’s shutting down partially to protect me from the emotional side of things. I am doing okay, happy even, sometimes really happy but at the same time, I am really struggling at the same time. I honestly don’t know how to process these past 5 months. To say they have been a mix of the best and the worst of times would be an understatement and COVID-19 is just a small part of it for me (for us). And yet, I am okay. I just need to process things in my own time and just not let the emotions bottle up, which I have not been doing, maybe a bit on this blog but not really.

On Friday the Nova Scotia government announced loosening up on some of the restrictions in place. It seems to me that they are taking it really slow and watching to see how it goes, which I think is a good thing, the whole learn from other’s mistakes and all that. Previously they had re-opened the provincial and municipal trails but that was pretty much it. That was more than a few weeks ago I believe, to be completely honest time seems to be both standing still and racing forward and the weeks seem to bleed into one another at the moment.

Starting yesterday they are allowing two households to join up (two household “bubbles” is the term, I am not sure if this is a Canadianism or not) to hang out at one house or the other without social distancing providing that they are mutually exclusive and do not join up with more than one household. There are still fines for violating social distancing in place and will be for a while I’m sure. It seems multiple provinces are doing this now. Which is good. I think. Honestly, I don’t know anymore.

Overall, I feel as if both Edward and I have been handling the whole COVID-19 situation okay considering, It’s everything else that we haven’t been handling well. This has been 5 months of pure hell for everyone I know, for everyone who lives in my province or has any connection with it and some of that hell is a little personal. I had some major issues with depression and anxiety even before this hit with COVID-19. It’s no wonder though. It started with the car accident in October and spiraled from there. If you had asked me at the end of 2019 if I thought 2020 could be any worse than the end of 2019 I would have said no. And I would have been so so wrong. Yet, there have been some really great times thrown in there as well. Some real breakthroughs for me as well.

This was taken last year when we were camping on my parent’s property.

I am looking forward to going to the beach. I don’t even have to worry about crowds as we have beachfront property access on the St Mary’s Bay. This is something I am looking forward to, it keeps me going, keeps us going, keeps us all going. I have never gone swimming there (not on that side but I have on the side of Digby Neck), just gone walking when the tide was out in the wet sand. It was one thing I really enjoyed about last summer and I am looking forward to it again. We can camp, we can swim, wade, walk, and beachcomb. I have never loved Nova Scotia more then I do right now and I have loved it here since day one. I will love it to my very last breath I imagine.

My parents seem to be dealing with everything for the most part as well. It’s been hard for everyone, my brother especially. My mom is in good spirits and was keeping herself busy knitting and with crafts and DIY projects. My dad has had a harder time, mostly because of pain and weakness from a herniated disk and pinched nerve in his back. He is awaiting surgery for it. No telling when that will happen, but he has been gardening when he can, cleaning up down at the beach and camp (about a 1km walk from the house through woods behind the backyard) and just generally switching between puttering around and trying to stay active and sleeping and resting when he needs too. Other than that it’s hard to tell with him. He keeps things to himself, always has. He’s loving and caring, but just likes his privacy and doesn’t complain much.

They were both excited to see me yesterday and today. Mom and I bought a Cricut Explore Air 2 yesterday and we played around with it a bit yesterday and today. We did the above glass as a test just to see what we could do with it, my parents are renewing their vows next year down at the beach and my cousin who owns the property is planning it (she lives in Connecticut) and mom and I are going to make her dress and all the decorations. We did everything for our wedding as well. I absolutely love the Cricut. There is so much you can do with it!

That’s been our weekend mostly. I felt bad for Edward because he worked both days, he’s off tomorrow though, it’s Victoria Day, a holiday in most provinces. He’s also off Thursday and then this coming Saturday as well. We are going to spend some time with mom and dad and my brother tomorrow and on Saturday we were planning on going to a local trail for a hike as it’s something we can actually do now, all day-use provincial parks are open so long as we still distance when we come into contact with anyone. It’s one we’ve never been to before called Mickey Hill Provincial Park and it’s less than 10 minutes away and it opened for the season yesterday at 8 a.m.

We need to get out after everything going on so far this year. It’s been a bad one, not just COVID-19 but more everything else that’s been going on as I mentioned above. It’s been a devastating year for us, for all of us. I don’t think there is one person that I know that has not been affected by the events since Jan 1st. In January our dentist was killed when her plane was shot down outside Tehran in Iran. Nova Scotia, more specifically Halifax lost a number of people in that incident, mostly professionals and students.

Then after that the events in April with the mass murder in Portapique in which someone with ties to our family was killed as well as 22 other people (I did not know them personally but honestly it was so horrible that everyone is dealing with it) and then the military helicopter crash off of Greece that killed 6 all of which most had a tie to Nova Scotia, some were from here. May 6th and the days and week’s following were devastating again as a 3-year-old from Truro went missing and has not been found and then today, we’ve had another tragedy for the province. One of the Canadian Snowbirds (an aerobatics team) planes crashed during their country-wide tour in support of the victims of the previous 2 incidents I mentioned. It crashed near Kamloops, BC, and one of the pilots was a Nova Scotian from Halifax. It’s just been non-stop.

So, yeah, basically I am done with the first half of 2020. I know it’s not technically till the end of June, but I am done with it now. I am ready to move on and make the rest of the year more positive, find the positives in as much as possible. I am not worried about this as I know I’ve got this, but it’s hard all the same. I just feel like the rug has been pulled out from under my feet and I am falling and falling. I know I am not the only one though and that keeps me going. I know my family and friends and strangers are suffering just as much as I am. COVID-19 is just an added insult to the misery that has been 2020 so far.

And that is why I need to keep looking on the bright side, wherever that is… not really finding it right now sitting here with tears streaming down my face as I think of all this while my husband sleeps on the couch at 1:30 a.m. but whatever, it is what it is. He’s always here for me and me him so I am not worried about that either. We are solid and that brings me some relief. I should really wake him up though and go to bed.

Happy Mothers Day Mom!

Happy Mother’s Day Mom! I love you so much! You have always been my best friend and the greatest influencer in my life. You have always been there for me from day one. You gave me life, a sense of purpose, and have always done your best to ensure that I was given all the love, caring, and tools I need to grow into the woman I am today. The photo below is my Gram, Mom, and I. Gram was about 103 this picture. She lived until 106 years old! I have to say I am lucky when it comes to my Mom, not everyone has this kind of a relationship with their Mom and I am eternally grateful for the bond we have. She is one of a kind and there is no other Mother like her in my opinion.

I never realized until now when trying to write this post for Mother’s Day today just how hard it is to find pictures with my Mother in them. Every time we go to take pictures she gets in the picture and just before the button is pressed she’s gone Mom’s never liked having her picture taken, much like me. I prefer to behind the camera not in front of it. The picture below is Mom, Me, my husband Edward, my brother Denton and my Dad from our wedding pictures. It’s always a little easier to find pictures with my Dad or brother in them.

My family has always been a close one, something that it took Edward a while to get used to. Mom and Dad took him in right away and treated him like a Son almost from the beginning. They love him and he loves them. Mom and Edward have a special bond as well. It warms my heart to see that we are still as close as we were before I got married and as close as we all were when my bother and I were little. So, I just wanted to say again, Happy Mothers Day Mom! I love you!

Happy Mother’s Day to all the other Mother’s out there as well! I hope you are all having an awesome Mother’s Day despite the restrictions in place due to COVID-19 and that you enjoy the day and spend as much time with the family in your household as you can and video chat with your parents if you do not live with them.

Peggy’s Cove

So I decided since yesterday was Saturday and since I was feeling miserable with a cold that it was time to get out, get some fresh air and let Edward drive somewhere new and ignore the fact I felt like crap. So he drove us to Peggy’s Cove just outside Halifax. It was a beautiful day to go since it was 20°C out. It wasn’t super busy. Lots of room for climbing on the rocks and taking photos.

First we found a path between the Swiss Air Flight 111 Memorial and Peggy’s Cove so that I could get some photos from further away and then we went into Peggy’s Cove to go walk on the rocks and take pictures. It was beautiful but windy which was perfect for some nice wave pictures as well. This has always been one of my favorite places to go for a walk or to take pictures

This was also my first time ever using Adobe Lightroom CC to edit the pictures. I am actually pretty impressed with what I accomplished with it. They looked great on the camera screen but even better after editing. I am so happy I decided to buy the photography plan. I am really enjoying this again. I forgot how good photography and webdesign and blogging made me feel.

Maybe I will start with a bare bones framework and design my site from scratch. I’m not that good at coding and am not great with PHP but I do know HTML and CSS and I am all for teaching myself new things. Last time I tried it didn’t work out so well but I am not one to give up. So here’s to learning new things! This is going to be a great summer

First up we have a shot from the path between Peggy’s cove and the memorial:

Here’s a nice shot of a retreating wave, this was down right on the rocks around the Lighthouse. I was trying to play with the shutter speed, aperture and ISO but I’ll be honest I have no idea what I am doing so it didn’t work the way I had hoped but still turned out pretty nice anyways. I guess I will be looking up some tutorials on capturing water.

I took this one from the path as well with a 75-300mm lens that came with my camera. It just came with the two but it’s good enough to start out with. No point buying more or upgrading until I get better.

Another wave shot. This one I was also on the rocks a little further from the lighthouse but still accessible from the main parking lot. I love waves.

I think this was another shot right around the same spot as the one above:

This was also taken from the path by the memorial. I love how colorful the buildings in the little town are:

 

Not sure why I took this but I love it. It was also on the path before we got to Peggy’s Cove. It was a bit muddy walking down to it and I soaked my socks and sneakers and scratched the crap out of my legs through the brambles on the path walking down but it was well worth it. I almost forgot I had a bad cold at this point.

Another couple of wave shots down on the rocks near the lighthouse. I love how blue the ocean is. It really was that blue.

Last but not least a close up of the Peggy’s Cove lighthouse. According to Wikipedia the Village of Peggy’s Cove

The first recorded name of the cove was Eastern Point Harbour or Peggs Harbour in 1766. The village is likely named after Saint Margaret’s Bay (Peggy being the nickname for Margaret), which Samuel de Champlain named after his mother Marguerite.

I find that pretty interesting. I didn’t know this until I looked it up. You take for granted the places around you and don’t always know the history I find if you grow up there or you have been there a long long time as I have (over 20 years)

I am very happy how the pictures turned out since it is the first time in over two years I have even touched the camera really and it’s has got me wanting more. I can’t wait to get out and explore this summer. I have booked off like 6 long weekends between now and September at work and a full week in August around our 2 year wedding anniversary to go camping and to go explore places and really have a good time. I figure I get all this vacation, why not right?

Time for some questions for you guys: What are you passionate about? What makes you feel better when your sick? Do you have a hobby?