then you go and do something and ruin it all…

Ever wish you could go back and do something over? Like you screwed up so bad that nothing else matters. Not matter how good it is. A million good things can happen and you go and do one stupid thing and ruin it all. I know that sounds overly dramatic and more then likely it’ll look different at some point in time tomorrow or whenever. But I don’t really know at this point… All I know is I’m seriously crying and I feel like a fool. I should have realized what kinda of mood I was in and ended the conversation with him then and there. I could have said something like I was tired and was going to bed. Instead I probably look like a crazy ass person who no one in their right mind would want anything to do with. Why do I just have to sabotage anything that seems good. I’m scared I ruined any chance I’d ever have if there ever was one. I hope like hell I’m wrong. I really like this guy. I should be really really happy right now. Instead I’m going to bed with tears running down my face. Why the hell do I always do this to myself?

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