Update on how I am feeling.

If you want to read the whole story and have not yet see these three posts: Last 2 Weeks In a Nutshell, Round Two and Getting There, and I am sorry they are quite lengthy but they tell the whole story…

Tomorrow is Monday and I will not be going back to work yet. I am waiting for the results of my chest x-ray. I took the day off to make an appointment with my doctor to go over the results. Hopefully they will be back by 2:20 pm when my appointment is.

I am still coughing till I throw up or feel like I am going to pass out or both. I have been running a low grade fever and more stuff that I don’t really want to talk about

I have never felt so overwhelmingly tired. I took a shower yesterday afternoon (Cory was not around earlier and I did not want to risk it without him nearby), which while I was in it felt so nice, the warm water helped sooth me and made me feel like I could breath easier. It did not last long though, once out of the shower and just standing in a towel in the bathroom I suddenly felt overwhelmingly like I was going to cough, I did and almost went face first on the floor. It was so stuffy in there and I could not breath at all.

Once I got out I struggled to dry my hair as much as I could while struggling through 5 minute long coughing fits. By the time I was done and dressed I was exhausted. I laid down about 3 pm on the couch, turned the TV on and fell asleep for a few hours. I woke up coughing.

I barely ate anything all day, mostly ice cream, a chocolate shake and some water and freezies. I am just not hungry at all, but I am trying to stay hydrated. I just feel like hell.

I am anxious to get back to work but at the same time dreading it. Leaving by ambulance on Wednesday was really embarrassing to me. I hate the idea of people talking about it behind my back. I hate answering questions about how I am doing and feeling. I don’t know why I am embarrassed but I am. I am really stressing about it.

But if I do not go back to work soon I am going to loose all the work I have put into trying to move my way up in the company (I know for a fact that there will be a coaching position open within a few months time and I really want it), and also the debt that I have been able to pay off, I do not want to be back in a bad position, not with the new car and everything.

I just want everything back to normal and that does not look like it is going to happen anytime soon.

Cory has been complaining he is not feeling well yesterday and today too. I really hope he does not end up with whatever it is that I have. That’s all we need. I am concerned about him and about myself.

When I went to bed last night (my turn in the bed, since we can not really sleep together well right now). I actually started crying and missing my Mom. I feel so much like a really sick little kid that needs her Mommy. I just want this all to be over.

4 thoughts on “Update on how I am feeling.

  1. I’m sorry you are still feeling so bad.
    It sounds like a pneumonia or a bronchitis, I’ve had bronchitis and that was hell. Did they check CRP?
    I hope you’ll get some answers really soon. Hugs!

    1. I’m not really sure what CRP is, there was no blood work or anything done yet, I am hoping my family doctor will do that tomorrow. They kept telling me it was not pneumonia at the hospital because my chest sounded clear and my oxygen saturation levels were at 100%. That’s why they kept treating it as a panic attack. They said my chest was fine.

  2. I hope whatever it is, it can be diagnosed and treated in a timely manner. I have a good friend of mine out of work for awhile due to his kidneys and it’s been painful for him, so I kind of understand what you’re going through, at least passively anyhow. Regardless, I hope you feel better! *hugs* If you ever need anyone to talk to, I’m willing to listen!

    1. It really sucks being out of work for any reason. I spent 3 months over a year and a half ago on sick leave for vertigo and nausea so I am kind of panicking about having to miss work again

      Hopefully your friend is doing better now? I feel for him. Its really hard.

      Thanks for your kind words and I am going to add you into my links

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