where’s a title when you need one?

I thought I was finished but I guess not. Just have so much on my mind I guess…

Ever been told that you have to go after the things in life that you want? Never to give up hope? That you can’t sit and do nothing or they’ll just pass you by? Well… when do you give up? Whens enough, enough? When do you just move on and forget about it. They say never to give up on your hopes and dreams. But it’s not possible to have everything you want. What if it’s possible but not probable. Do you hang on? Or do you let go. Sometimes I’ve heard if you let go and it’s meant to be it’ll come back. But I’ve never seen that happen. Not once in my 25 years on this earth.

When does the impossible become possible? When do you just have to give in to fate and move on and start looking in another direction. For someone who’s tired of people telling her what to do I sure ask a lot of questions don’t I… I’m just “getting” them out there I guess. Maybe once they are voiced I can move on? Lets hope. What if you don’t want to move on though… what if you wanna hold out the hope that one day…

Is it to much to ask for something to go my way just once? Just one damn time… Ok so that was kinda selfish. I know. But I had to say it. I had to. It’s how I feel. I’m sure someone will say “well… you can’t tell me you’ve never had anything go your way before.” Sure I have. But never something I wanted. Maybe needed. Like for instance. Sure I’ve gone for a job interview and gotten the job on the spot. But did I want the job? Not really. I took it. It was a job. I’m not stupid enough to turn it down.

But I can’t really remember ever wanting something so bad and having it happen. I’ve heard the usual “Well, you have to go out and get it. It’s not gonna come to you..”. But it’s not that simple. Sometimes trying to get it can make it worse. Especially if it might not be meant to be. I’m not saying it is meant to be. Or that it’s not. I haven’t a clue really one way or another… Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t. Not the point really. But maybe its not wanted? Then what… forget it I guess… not gonna happen right?

Ok I have no idea what the hell I wrote all that for and I don’t know if it’s worth posting but I wrote it and it in some fucked up way made me fell better so I might as well…

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